Lovely Bones
by MarMarJ
Summary: After many weeks, Katniss has been rescued from the Capitol and her family and Peeta are overjoyed. But it isn't long until Peeta realizes that not only has Katniss had her memories tampered with, but that she is strangely slipping away from reach- for a reason no one knows.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I am starting this new fanfiction…**

 **It is told from Peeta's POV, and it is like an alternate version of Mockingjay, but I bit twisted as well. So basically, Katniss was taken prisoner by the Capitol and Peeta was the one who was rescued and he is the face of the rebellion.**

 _I might have thought that we were one_

 _I wanted to fight this war without weapons_

I stared down at my shoes and continued chewing my lip. I felt puke at the back of my throat. I looked over at Finnick's hands, which were tying various kinds of knots in a rope.

We'd been waiting for 2 hours almost. What if they never came back?

The last time I'd seen Katniss she was in a horrible condition. She was so thin and she looked so scared. Her grey eyes hid something other than fear though. Something I couldn't recognize.

I jumped when the door swung open and I quickly looked up to see Haymitch at the door. "They're back." He told us. Finnick and I exchanged glances and then rapidly got to our feet. _She's here!_ I kept telling myself. _Katniss is finally here. With me. She's safe from the Capitol. She's here with me._

We followed Haymitch into the infirmary. I still couldn't believe it. My Katniss was here. She was really here!

When we arrived, I scanned the large area for black hair. It would definitely pop out against the pale blue, green and white themed- infirmary. There were nurses and doctors crowded around something. I hurried towards them, only to have my hopes dropped when I noticed the person they were surrounding was Johanna. It shocked me. She looked so different. Her black spiky hair was shaved off and she was so scrawny. "Johanna? Where's—"

She snapped at the doctors before I could finish. "No, I don't want that!" She pulled the oxygen tubes off her face and then smacked a nurse's hand away. Behind me, I heard a woman shriek. "Finnick! Finnick!" I turned around to see a fairly pretty, brown-haired young woman race towards Finnick. I recognized her and realized it was Annie, the girl whom Mags had volunteered for.

She flung herself towards Finnick and he caught her. Then they started to kiss passionately.

Suddenly, I needed Katniss badly. I needed to find her and hold her, and kiss her just as eagerly.

"Peeta!" I whipped my head around again. Haymitch was signaling me. He was standing next to Gale. I approached them.

"Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She's unresponsive."

I froze and faced Gale. My breathing accelerated. "Why? What's wrong with her?"  
"We don't know. But we think it's from the sleeping gas. She's going to be okay. She's in there."

Some of the doctors opened the doors for us, until we reached a small room. Through the small window on the door, I could see her. Lying on her back, unconscious- or, unresponsive like Gale had said. I pushed open the door slowly. There was a clear mask covering her nose and mouth. I came closer to her body and felt a small smile creeping onto my lips. Katniss was right in front of me.

There were cuts and scratches all over her arms and face. She was disturbingly thin. Her form scared me. She looked smaller than I remembered.

They tortured her so badly. But she was still so beautiful. I felt tears in my eyes and I got down to her level. I brushed the hair out of her face and took hold of her bony hand. I noticed her fingernails were painted silver, but the paint was chipped. Under her nails, she had dried blood. She was probably trying to rip them off. I kissed her hand and pressed it to my cheek.

Gale came from the other side and brushed back the hair from her face. He looked sorrowful. I probably looked worse- my face was wet with tears. He moved away, probably feeling a little strange knowing I was there- next to Katniss.

How I wanted to see those eyes. Those pearly, grey eyes which I always got lost in. But they were covered by olive eyelids. I kissed on of them, and then I pressed my cheek to her forehead. "I'm sorry," I murmured. "I'm so sorry."

If I hadn't let her go, back at the lightning tree, she'd be okay.

Katniss would be awake- hell, she wouldn't have gone to the Capitol. She would have been safe here with me the whole time.

I still had my cheek against her forehead and I opened my eyes. Her chest was still going up and down. She would wake up soon. I didn't need to cry so much. I couldn't wait to see those eyes open.

Katniss would be crying, and wouldn't let me go. Maybe she'd kiss me. If she did, I'd so the same. Not like I wasn't already.

And once she was strong enough, I knew that's he'd turn to Haymitch, and yell at him. Curse at him, throw something his direction- literally. She would be furious about everything. But, at the same time…. This was what she wanted in the arena. Wasn't it?

She wanted me to live, not her.

And I wanted her to live. I wanted her to live as long as she could. I was eager to sacrifice myself for her.

Katniss would have had a better shot at life if I died anyways. She had Gale, who already loved her, and her family.

I was willing to give her, Gale, and maybe even their impending children my life.

That is, if she wanted them. She's never told me her opinion about having children. But I don't think she'd want any.

I continued keeping my cheek pressed against her forehead until the doctors said they were going to assign her an actual room.

They placed her on a transportable hospital bed and then led me and Haymitch through the halls until we arrived.

I sat down in a chair and took her hand in mine again. I watched as doctors cleaned her up a bit, and then inserted tubes in her arms. I looked down at her and smiled when I was able to hear her heartbeat on the monitor.

They replaced the mask on her face with oxygen tubes.

 _Good._ I thought. _Now I can kiss you._

Haymitch sat down on another chair.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." I replied. "Now that she's here. When do you thinks she'll wake up?"

"Who knows? The affect will wear off soon, though."

I stood up and smoothed back her side bangs. Then I leaned forward and kissed her softly on her lips.

…

Several hours passed. I fell asleep sitting on the chair, with my head resting in my arms, which were on Katniss's bed next to her hips. It must have been early, about 8 AM.

Prim and her mother were sitting on the chairs on the other side of the room. Prim had her head resting on her mother's shoulder while the two slept.

My eyes opened and I recalled the events of last night. I looked up quickly.

Katniss's eyes were still closed. And she was still in the same position she was in when we first got here. I shook her shoulder.

"Katniss…?" I muttered. "Katniss?"

She wouldn't move.

Th gas would have worn off by now. I stood up and held her face in my hands. The heart monitor had the same rhythm. But I knew something was wrong. I squeezed the sensitive area between her shoulders and her neck, but she stayed still as a rock.

I called in her nurse, whose name was Ivy. She arrived with a clipboard in her hand, which held Katniss's new medical folder.

"Hi." Ivy smiled in a kind way. "How is she?"

"She's not waking up." I told her. "She hadn't moved from the position she was in last night." Ivy bit her lip and then walked to Katniss's monitor.

"What's wrong?" I heard a soft voice ask. I turned around to see Prim looking at us with worried eyes. She and her mother had woken up/

"Katniss isn't waking up." I said. Prim quickly stood up and looked down at Katniss. Her mother held Katniss's hand.

"She hasn't moved." She whispered.

"Well… oxygen levels looks fine, and her heartbeat is perfect. She's stable."

I stroked Katniss's cheek. _What did they do to you?  
_ "Maybe it's something…" Ivy started. "Inside the brain. Most likely. We have to inspect her and see what's wrong."

"What?" I said, at little uneasy. "What do you think happened?"

Ivy shook her head. "I don't know." She said softly with an uncertain tone. "We might have to perform surgery if it's really necessary. But she'll be okay."

I got angry. Katniss was not okay. "You don't know that. Katniss isn't okay. She's not waking up." I grumbled.

"Peeta—"

"No… just… just do whatever you have to do. I'm sorry." I sighed. I forced myself to calm down.

From there, Ivy called in a few doctors and they took Katniss to a different room.

They didn't use CAT scans, because it was too risky.

Mrs. Everdeen and Prim and I all waited outside the room. Prim and I spoke with each other. About Katniss, mostly.

I told her how I couldn't lose Katniss. Because she was all I had.

"She's going to be okay, Peeta." It made me angry how everyone kept telling me this. But I couldn't get angry at Prim.

I knew Katniss would want me looking after her family. So that was what I had been doing while she was in the Capitol. Gale looked after them only slightly. When Katniss warned 13 about the bombing, I realized Prim was missing in the bunker. I had panicked and searched for Katniss's little sister, but then I saw her running down the bunker hall with her ginger tomcat in her arms, and Gale was behind them.

And that was probably the only time Gale ever 'looked after' Prim while Katniss was gone. I could tell Prim and her mother trusted me. Because not only was I keeping them safe but I also kept Katniss safe. Or at least, I tried to. Before they took her from me.

My attention was caught when I heard the door knob click open. I rose to my feet and face the doctor in front of me. He made a gesture with his hand and I entered the room. Katniss was on her transportable bed again.

This time, with an endotracheal tube in her mouth. My heart dropped.

"What happened?" I gasped. "What's wrong with her?!"

I got to her bed and stayed by her side, smoothing back her black hair. Behind me, I heard Katniss's mother wail. I turned to see her mother with her hand on her heart. Prim had her mouth covered with her hand.

"We were able to piece it all together." Ivy said softly.  
"And?" I cried.

I heard Ivy sigh. "She's in a coma." She murmured. "We don't know when she'll wake up. It's too risky to do anything."

I buried my face in her hand and cried into it.

I was so happy- so excited; just yesterday. I couldn't wait to see her smile, or those beautiful silver eyes. But now, who knew when I'd see them.

"Why is she in a coma?" I asked.

"We're not too sure. Like I said, it's too risky to check. On our X-rays, I mean. And all that."

"We thought it might have been a concussion, due to what we figured was being done to her in the Capitol. But for her to be a coma, it would have had to be a major concussion. And we didn't find any bruises on her head. The other cause might have been malnourishment. She was being left without food for who knows how long, so her body might have shut down to conserve energy."

They moved Katniss back to her old hospital room and reconnected her to all the monitors and machines. They inserted a small tube in her arm which fed her. And I watched her. I wanted to crawl into the bed with her and cradle her until she woke up from her coma. I wasn't allowed to, though. They said I could move something, like the endotracheal tube, and cause something to happen. So I stayed by her side.

I held her hand in mine. Watching her chest move up and down.

Pity and sorrow washed over me. To know that she was stuck in a frightening, deep sleep.

She couldn't wake up. Katniss was stuck in a coma, fighting hard to wake up from nightmares.

But what hurt the most was the fact that I couldn't reach her.


	2. Chapter 2

Haymitch forced me out of Katniss's room on the morning of the third day. Before we left, I watched Ivy give Katniss a vaccine. I can't remember for what exactly, though.

After, I got out of my seat and Haymitch told me to shower. So I did. I didn't argue. I returned to my old dormitory, where I had spent over a month alone. Holding onto hope that Katniss was alive, and onto something that once belonged to her.

When I was in 13's infirmary after the Quarter Quell, Plutarch came in to visit me. He gave me something I never expected to see again. It wasn't on Katniss's fingers in the Quarter Quell, so I had guessed Cinna or our other stylists had taken it before we entered the arena.

He gave me Katniss's engagement ring. The ring I presented to her months ago. It was made from silver, with two small bands that crossed each other, keeping the tiny accessory together. On it was a diamond that was the size of a small pea. It was what made me feel closer to her while she was gone. I remember Finnick had a small picture of Annie smiling, and he kept it until now that she was back. And I wished I had one of those but with Katniss's face on it. Seeing her smile made me so happy. It lit up those grey eyes and it made me want to kiss her so badly.

…In a way having a picture of Katniss would be a bad idea. I couldn't be seen kissing a picture.

After I got out of the shower, I picked up the silver wedding band. It was small enough to fit through one of Katniss's fingers. It would slip almost to the base of my pinky, but it didn't fit exactly. I didn't want to put it on, knowing it would break.

Then I got an idea and slipped the silver piece of jewelry into a pocket on my grey jumpsuit. I got out of the dormitory to see Haymitch waiting for me.

"That was fast." He said, noticing my dripping wet hair. I hadn't bothered drying it.

We took a stroll along the district. I didn't know what to talk about. Katniss was all we could speak of.

"Let's try and get the girl off your mind." He told me.

"I can't." I replied. "I can't get her out of my head. I want to go back."

"It's not good if you do. It'll only get you depressed."

"Well… I sort of already am." I sighed. "In case you haven't noticed."

"Well we can't have you get any more depressed."  
"How come?"

Haymitch snickered. "'How come'? Well if you have another mission, you have to be ready to go."  
"I'm not going on any missions until she wakes up."

"And what if sweetheart wakes up in ten months? Snow would have won by then. Stop being so selfish for once and think about this revolution. Do you still want kids being killed?"

Why did he call me selfish? I have no idea.  
"No." I groaned.

"If you and Katniss had a child, would you want it going into the arena?"

If me and Katniss had a child? I'd love that child to bits. I'd love to have a child with her someday but I couldn't think of the future like that. Not at the time. Hell, I don't think Katniss loves me enough to actually have…

"Of course not."

"Then suck it up and do what's first on the list."

It irritated me. I want to be there for Katniss when she wakes up. So I can hold her, tell her that she's safe from the Capitol. Tell her that I was there and that Prim and her mother were also safe. Petting her soft black hair, comforting her with kisses if she wanted them. I could imagine her in my arms, embracing her. She would have her eyes closed, taking me in and pressing her head against my chest like she always did. I had a feeling that she would be kissing me. I'm pretty sure she…. loves me… I think. Maybe we could have a kid. But who knows if she'd want one. After the way she kissed me on the beach, I kind of believe it now- that's she has feelings for me. When Haymitch was trying to calm me down before they rescued her, he would tell me that Katniss loved me.

" _The girl loves you. She really does, Peeta. She just won't mention it. But she will someday, I assure you."_

I never argued with Haymitch about that. I wanted to believe it- I really did. But I couldn't. I'd need to hear those words come from Katniss's lips. People couldn't say that for her. Not something like love.

"Do you think the Capitol did that on purpose?" I asked.

"What?"  
"Do you think they meant to put her in a coma?"

"We are trying to get her off your mind, Peeta."  
"And you can't. Anyways. What do you think?"

Haymitch sighed. "Well… I can't answer that... But most likely not. They wanted to inflict pain, not put her in some sleep where she can't feel anything. They didn't want to kill her either."

"They were taunting me." I murmured.

"Exactly. I'd say no. It was probably an accident. But you can't wake people up from comas… maybe that's why they rescued her so easily."

I stared sadly at the wall.

"C'mon." Haymitch said. I followed him. "So. Tell me." He spoke. I looked at him. "Since we can't get Katniss off your mind… let's talk about something that makes you happy about her."

"Okay." Haymitch eyed him. "What?"  
"What's something Katniss does that makes you happy?"

I shrugged. "Well… I like hearing her sing. Despite I haven't heard her sing in years. But remembering it make me happy. It's soothing. Once, several months ago, I watched the tape of the 74th Games."  
"Yeah?"  
"I watched the part where she sang to Rue."  
"And that was the last time you heard her singing?"  
I nodded. "I think I'm going to ask her to sing to me. When she wakes up."

Haymitch scoffed. I rolled my eyes. He probably thought it sounded corny; what I had just said. But I'd like it. Maybe she'll sing a song that I've never heard her sing before.

"On a scale from one to ten, how much do you love her?" He asked.

I furrowed my brow and glared at him, puzzled. "That's a stupid question." I said. "I'm surprised you don't know the answer to that, Haymitch. The whole nation knows the answer."

"Answer it, anyways."  
I blushed. "No."

He elbowed me. "C'mon, let's hear it."

"You can answer your own question."

"Fifteen. No... No… twenty-seven."  
"What the heck? You said one to ten!"

Haymitch shook his head and chuckled.

"Twenty-seven…" I repeated. "So like…. A hundred twenty seven percent?"  
"Yeah."  
"Oh. I see what you mean." I thought it was still a little stupid. I really didn't want to be doing this. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? I want to go to Katniss and hold her hand. And wait. I can wait a millennium for her.

"Peeta?"  
"What?"  
"You zoned out."  
I nodded. "'Kay." I said.

"I asked you something. But I guess you don't want to go back to the infirmary." My attention was caught.

"What? Yes! Yes, I do." I shouted. I was guessing that Haymitch gave up. But I just wanted to be with Katniss.

When we arrived, Ivy was checking Katniss's monitor and noting things down on her clipboard. There was a doctor in her thirties behind her. "Good morning." I told them.

"Hello, Mr. Mellark." The doctor told me.

I flashed a smile. "Oh…Um… I prefer to be called by my first name: Peeta."

"Right. I'm sorry." She smiled. "Peeta."

"It's fine." I grinned. I looked at Katniss to see oxygen tubes in her nose- with the tube still in her throat. "What…Is everything okay? What-"  
"Her oxygen levels dropped." I quickly got to Katniss's side. I heard a strange, hard breathing- sound come from Katniss.

"Why? What…"

"We don't know." Ivy said. "But it only dropped a little bit—"

Everyone was silenced.

Katniss let out a small whimper and her head shifted to the side to face me. Her eyes remained closed. My mouth dropped open. "Katniss?" I gasped petting her hair. I shook her shoulder. My heart dropped to my stomach. She was awake, she was waking up!

"Don't do that." The doctor scolded at me. She took my hands off Katniss's shoulders. "You could hurt her."

"She's awake! Take those things out of her!" I demanded.

"We can't, she still—"

"Do it!"

"Peeta!" Haymitch said. "Katniss will wake up on her own—"

"Take those things out of her. She's waking up, and she's going to have a fucking heart attack if she wakes up with that thing in her throat!" I shouted.

"Peeta, please, calm down, understand that we can't do that until Katniss wakes up." The doctor told me calmly, but her eyes were wide with anger an annoyance.

My hands went up to my hair. "Oh my god." I whispered. I was on the verge of knocking something over. I wanted to rip the cables out of the monitors. I couldn't handle this. Katniss was awake, she really was. I needed to see those eyes and speak to her, communicate and… and… I got tears in my eyes. I was so frustrated with these doctors. They're hurting her, they're inserting tubes down her throat and giving her vaccines for god knows what. There was a seat near the door and I shoved away from me. "Let her wake up!" I cried.

"Peeta—"

"Shut up! Please, just shut up! You're like the Capitol! You're trying to hurt me by hurting her!"

Ivy, who was about 23, was staring at me in shock with her wide, green eyes.

"Stop it!" I yelled at her. "Stop staring at me!" I started to bawl. "Fuck you!" I pounded the wall with my fist. I needed Katniss. I needed her now.

But what was wrong with me? I needed to calm down.

Haymitch grabbed my wrist. "That's enough of your bullshit." He spat, and then led me out Katniss's room, and back into my dormitory.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is based on the song 'Eye of the Needle' by Sia. It came on my playlist I was listening to while writing this chapter, and I thought the lyrics suited Peeta's situation- about how he's dreaming of seeing Katniss again, and how much he loves her, and that he misses her. Don't forget to leave a review!**

 _Take me down_

 _I'm feeling now_

 _And if I move on_

 _I admit you're gone_

 _And I ain't ready_

 _And I'll hold steady_

 _Yeah I'll hold you in my arms_

 _In my arms, in my arms…_

I laid in my bed that evening. I felt horrible. I wanted to go apologize to Ivy and the doctor. Mostly Ivy, though. I looked at the ceiling, observing the small cracks on it. Haymitch was sitting at the table in my dormitory. We kept each other company down here. He told me 'you're the only real friend I have down here' on the night of Katniss's rescue. In the past several weeks, I had gone to training and missions and shot propagandas—or, propos, like Plutarch called them—and that was what my life consisted of here in 13.

When I was free and didn't have anything to do, I'd visit Finnick and we'd talk about the girls, Katniss and Annie. There was Haymitch too, but I avoided him for a few weeks, because of my anger about how he didn't rescue Katniss in that clock arena. She would have added more fire to the rebellion. She has that… spark. Even after I forgave Haymitch, I still preferred speaking with Finnick because he understood my need for Katniss; same way I understood his need for Annie.

And there was little Primrose too-who honestly wasn't _that_ little anymore. She'd changed and grown a lot. I grew closer with Prim in 13 because we both love Katniss. In different ways, but… we still love her. We both missed Katniss very much and sometimes I'd go and talk with Prim if I wanted to hear something good about Katniss. It may sound silly but Prim would tell me stories of her and Katniss. At one point she started to worry and broke down in tears. I remembered calming her down, and then pulling her in for a hug. Prim and Katniss look nothing alike, and are nothing alike. Katniss having her dark hair and skin complexion, and Prim having light ones, like me. And Katniss had… some kind of fire to her. Prim on the other hand was gentle and soft-spoken. Very unlike her sister. But it didn't matter. I didn't want Katniss to change. I loved her the way she was.

 _And you're locked inside my heart_

 _And your melody's an art_

 _And I won't let the terror in, I'm stealing time_

 _Through the eye of the needle_

I'd only speak with Gale sometimes. It was a bit awkward, knowing we were both waiting for the same girl to return. Gale and I had never been enemies, but we're not friends either. We are tied together by Katniss. Because she cares about both of us, and we both love her. I'll say that she cares. I don't know if she loves me. But I wanted to know. I'll ask her soon.

"Do you love her?" I said, sitting up on my elbows.

"What?" Haymitch asked. "Who?"  
"Katniss?"

He stared at me, a bit confused.

"Like, not in the way I—"

He cut me off. "Eugh, boy, why are you even—"

"I just wanna know!" I shrugged. I sat up in my bed. "Just, like, in any way? In the same way Prim does at least? Family-wise?" Haymitch sighed and rested his chin on his hand.

"Mm…"

I smiled softly. "You're scared to admit it, aren't you? You do. She's like your family."

"I guess. Despite I can't stand that girl sometimes."  
"Perhaps because you two are alike. That's probably why."

"If you put it that way."

I scoffed and laid back down. "Do you think they'll let me back into her room?"  
"I… think so, yeah. You weren't causing any trouble except for the doctors. But you were being verbal. Not physical, thank god."

"Good. I want to give something to Katniss."

Haymitch was quiet for a while. Then he burst into fits of laughter. He muffled his snickers and snorts with his hand. "And what exactly would that 'somethin' be?" He hid his smile.

"What the fuck are you laughing about? You're being dirty, aren't you? I wanted to give Katniss the ring."

"Gottcha." He chuckled. "You're… not going to propose again are you?"

I bit my lip. "No… we're too young, don't you think?"

"I'd say so, yeah. But you got engaged to her nearly a year ago because of Snow's shit."

"Exactly. But you propose to someone when you're both in love. Katniss surely didn't love me back then."  
Haymitch's mouth opened but then he closed it, like he was about to argue. "Well, I'll tell you that in the arena, she did. She was willing to sacrifice herself. And did you not see the way she cried in your arms after you hit the force field? The way she kissed you too—"

"I wish no one had seen us kiss on the beach."

"But we did. Damn. She really kissed you with passion."

"Well we weren't really 'engaged' anymore, at that time. But she's always so unsure of her feelings. I want to hear her admit it."

"And she will. You just wait. I mean, I believe it. I think she loves you. But I know you won't listen to anyone say that unless it's her."

"Bingo." I said unenthusiastically.

…

 _Step and repeat_

 _Tears fall to the beat_

 _Smile through the pain_

 _Feel the acid rain_

That night, after Haymitch left, I didn't change out of my jumpsuit. I couldn't sleep, so I stayed on the bed thinking of the rebellion. My mind wandered off to my family and the last time I ever saw them, back when I volunteered for Haymitch. It was just a blur of their faces- and of the same shade of bright blonde hair identical to mine- but I saw my oldest brother the last out of all 4. Why was I even thinking of this? I was just making myself gloomier by the second. Despite we weren't as close as Katniss's family, I still missed them. They kept me company. Especially my brothers.

Unwilling to sleep, I got out of my bed. I went to the bathroom and noticed how tired I looked. I had bags under my eyes. My hair wasn't combed so it looked flattened, but in the same form I had started to keep it last year before the Victory Tour. I hadn't shaved in a day or two, and I had a small bit of stubble on me. I looked _really_ scruffy and miserable, and worn down. But it was night time, and I wasn't trying to impress anyone. Once Katniss was up I'd look better for sure.

 _And I ain't ready_

 _But I'll hold steady_

 _Yeah I'll hold you in my arms_

 _In my arms, in my arms…_

I decided I would sneak into the infirmary and into Katniss's room. Then I'd slip the ring on her finger. Because I wanted her to have it. Even if we weren't married, I still think she should have it, to know that I still love her. Why wouldn't I?

I walked slowly and quietly through the sleeping halls of 13, passing a few soldiers along the way. My eyelids started to get a bit heavy, but I ignored it.

When I arrived at my destination, the hospital's lights had been turned down. I found Katniss's room and grinned in satisfaction. The oxygen tubes were out of her nose at least. The monitor held the same heartbeat Katniss had had since they'd connected her in 3 days ago. Wait, no, 4. It was 2 A.M or something.

I took her hand in mine and kissed it, and then took the silver ring out of my pocket. It easily slipped onto her left ring finger, fitting perfectly. I smiled, and then kissed Katniss's pointed nose. I sat down and rested my head on her bed, keeping my eyes open, looking at her still figure.

 _And you're locked inside my heart_

 _And your melody's an art_

 _And I won't let the terror in, I'm stealing time_

 _Through the eye of the needle_

"Peeta?" I heard someone whisper.

I turned around, a bit scared to see who had caught me in here.

It was Ivy. "Hey. You're not supposed to be in here."  
"… I'm not?"  
"Well, you can't just sneak in. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone." She approached me and sat down in another chair.

"I'm really sorry." I told her. "About yelling at you earlier. That was rude of me." "Oh, it's okay. It's common and it happens with a lot of people when their loved ones are in treatment. I understand why you were worried. You don't like seeing her like this, do you? It's scary." Ivy brushed loose strands that had come out of her brown plait behind her ears which had piercings all over. She smiled kindly at me. Ivy rolled up her sleeves and then I saw a small tattoo of an animal's paw on her wrist. Katniss probably would be able to determine what kind of animal.

Ivy's personality reminded me of Prim's.

"Yeah. It scares me. She's all I have, so I don't want to lose her because my family died in the bombing of 12."

"Oh… I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't know."  
"It's alright. I wasn't too close with them, anyways. We never were. It's just been a bit harder without them."  
"I can imagine. You won't lose Katniss though. She's getting back all that weight that she lost from starvation. She'll be good as new in a few more days. With that, she should wake up, because she most likely fell into her coma due to malnourishment."

I nodded and placed Katniss's hands on my lap. It sounds strange, because it's just a ring, but putting it on her again enhanced her beauty. She was beautiful even as she slept.

 _I admit you're gone_

 _And I ain't ready_

 _And I'll hold steady_

 _Yeah I'll hold you in my arms_

 _In my arms_

 _In my arms._


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi loves. Man there's less that 6 months left until Mockingjay Part 2. And I'm excited as HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL**

 **Oh and this is a really long chapter with more than 4,000 words… It's the longest chapter I've ever written in my entire fanfiction- collection.**

2 days pass by. Today, I woke with my head on Katniss's bed while I sat on the chair next to her. My mouth was open while I slept so there is dried saliva on the corner of my mouth, and a wet stain on the white sheets on her bed. I feel disgusted with myself, and I manage to get the dried stuff of my face. I yawn and stretch my arms over my head. I observe Katniss. But there isn't much to observe, other than her scars and other things. She's been in the same position for the almost a week.

 _A week._

Katniss has been in a coma for nearly a week. But I didn't want to be a pessimist. I stayed positive, holding onto hope. I had to go on a mission soon, I was positive I did. Coin didn't have any heart to let me wait who knows how long for Katniss to wake up. But the deal I made with her never had anything to do with letting Katniss heal. I didn't expect it to take so long.

Katniss looked much better, though. She didn't have hollow cheeks anymore, and her arms weren't as frail. She still looked… unhealthy, but she looked better than she did 5 days ago. She was covered in pink and red scars and scabs, still. Also, something I observe from her a lot are the freckles that sprinkle her face. You could only see them if you got really close to her face. I noticed them when I pressed my cheek on her forehead, or when I kissed her face.

I had only gone to sleep in my dormitory once this week. And when I did, it was because Haymitch forced to. But at 5 in the morning I was back at Katniss's side.

I was thinking that if I was the first person she woke up to seeing, she would be calm, knowing I'm there. That she's safe with me, or, if we weren't in some safe place, at least she'd know that I was there for her, to hold her.

I would speak to her sometimes- softly, quietly- when I was alone with her. I'd tell her something about my new life here in 13, taking care of her family. A story. About how they trained me here, or how strict the rules were here. I knew she couldn't hear me, but it made me feel better.

Today, I was telling her about the drills we had here when there was some sort of emergency.

"When I first came here, I was ill." I told her. "From depression and anxiety and shock. I would have panic attacks." I brushed hair out away from her forehead. "I thought they'd kill you. I was being such a pessimist. I'm sorry. But after our… 'Rebellious' act with the berries, life hadn't been any easier, had it? Even if they didn't kill you, I still knew they were doing something to you. Hitting you, or… just horrible things. You know how they are. Anyways, when I was in the hospital, they would have minor drills, like if someone had some epidemic, they'd make everyone go to their living quarters. It was called a level 2 drill. I had to stay with your mother and Prim. But then there was that drill we had, and we all descended into level 5, which is where we headed underground. That one was scary. Knowing there were bombs overhead, trying to kill us, and then there was you. But if we both hadn't made it out of our situations… at least… never mind." I stopped. I was getting dark. I smiled sadly. I set my feet on the bar under Katniss's bed, and kissed her hand. I rested my elbows on her bed and waited.

About 2 hours later, Finnick arrived. "Hey." He knocked on the translucent glass on the door. "Its lunch time, Peets."

That was the strange nickname he'd given me here.

"'Kay." I said, sitting up, and then placing a kiss on Katniss's forehead. I got off the stool and joined Finnick.

"How's Katniss been?" He asked me.

"Same as she's been this whole week. She hasn't moved or… well… she moved for a second a few days ago actually. But not since then. She wouldn't wake up."

We started to head out of the infirmary, walking through halls, going with the flow of people as if we were salmon going down a river, heading to the lunchroom.

"I'm sorry about Katniss. I know how much you must miss her."

"It's okay. At least she's here, right?"  
"Yeah." He said. "Better than her being over in the Capitol."  
"True. What about Annie?"  
"Annie's doing much better, thank you. It seems like they didn't do too much with her, though. She only lost a few pounds and didn't have too many wounds. But she's staying in the infirmary too, because she's still in shock. Her doctor told me take a walk. Plus its lunchtime, so might as well go."

"And Johanna?"  
"Sick. She's refusing treatment so she can't come with us."  
I nodded at his response.  
"Bet you'll be ecstatic when Katniss opens those pretty eyes."  
I smiled at his comment.

"Yeah. I'm waiting to see them and her smile."

Finnick chuckled. When we entered the lunchroom, we settled down at a table and got our food.

Gale sat with us too. I didn't like speaking too much with him because I knew something would slip out of my mouth, and it would be about Katniss, and talking about Katniss with him made me nervous. But I let him sit. No reason for me to be rude with him anyways. I knew he thought the same about me that I thought about him. But he sat with us usually. We were all a team- Finnick, Gale and I.

For lunch today, they gave us stew with bread on the side. I knew Katniss would like it. She has a thing for stew and soups and those kind of things.

A small beeping noise came from the left. I looked down at the grey belt with pockets and other things that Gale wore. He pulled out a small handset with a tiny, blinking red light on the side. He pressed a few things on it, and I continued eating. He continued fidgeting with it.

The beeping noise stopped and Gale took a spoonful of his stew, and suddenly put the spoon down.

I looked up at him with his brow furrowed.

"What's up?" I asked him.

He swallowed. "It's about Katniss." He gave me the device.

 **To: Gale Hawthorne**

 **From: Plutarch Heavensbee**

 **Subject: Katniss Everdeen**

 **I just got contacted by Katniss's nurse. She is starting to stir and is being roused. Please alert her family and Peeta if they are nearby.**

"What?" I asked, still confused. I was letting it sink in.

"Katniss is waking up." Gale said aloud.

Finnick spat out his bread. "Go!" Finnick told me, laughing.

My eyes widened and I leapt out of my seat. I ran out of the cafeteria. This didn't feel real.

 _Katniss is waking up._

I continued telling myself this. I felt numb all over. My running speed increased. I ran faster and faster each time, feeling like I had an infinite amount of energy. I can finally see those beautiful eyes, and that smile. Feel her kiss me. Now, nothing stopped me. She was really, officially awake. I felt the same way I felt the night she was rescued.

 _Fire away, fire away_

 _Shoot me down, but I won't fall_

 _I am titanium_

I entered the infirmary and found Katniss's room. I paused to see two doctors and Ivy. I came a little closer. Ivy caught sight of me and smiled softly. I got closer to Katniss.

Katniss had moved. Her head was to the other side. The doctors checked her machines and were moving around.

"She's waking up?" I asked, keeping my eyes on Katniss.

"Yes, she's been stirring—"

And then I had proof. Her head shook from side to side. Her arms twitched and her fingers lifted up off the bed. Her brows furrowed and her chest moved unevenly. Sometimes she'd release quick breaths, and other times, she'd breathe deeply.

Small breathy grunts came from her. I got to her side and smiled softly. I took her hand in mine and felt her fingers twitch and move against my palm and my fingers.

Then, her fingers moved in a different manner. Her hand studied mine. They moved along my fingers, feeling each curve and every crease. Her other hand scratched at the bed cover. After a good 5 seconds, her whole body froze, including her hands. I looked up at her. Her mouth moved around the endotracheal tube. I saw her tongue stick out from under the tube, and I stood up. She made choking sounds.

Katniss's whole body starts to jerk and tremble uncontrollably, trying to pull the tube out of her mouth, but it's well secured. I try to pull it off, and I hear her releasing guttural and horrifying screams, the tube preventing them from being released fully. Katniss is moving away from everyone else's touch and her limbs are whipping around like crazy.

I panic and scoop her up, and for a second, she stops, and stares at me.

I see those striking grey eyes.

"Katniss!" I tell her. "Calm down, it's okay, you're okay! I got you! You're safe, with me, it's okay, it's—"

A doctor tries to grab Katniss. "Let her go!" I scream at everyone. I try to claw or punch them. Katniss is staring at me with horrified, shocked eyes which also had terror written all over them. Her pupils were pin points in her grey eyes. The doctors tried to pull me away from her and I'd throw a fist at them and demand them let us go. Katniss continues with her rampage. She pulls everything off of her arms, including the sharp needles. She trembles and pulls at the tube.

"Take it off!" I demand. "Take the thing out of her!" The doctors quickly grab Katniss, pinning her to the bed, as I try to help. The touching only causes Katniss to scream even louder. She wriggles away from everyone's touch. Her eyes keep opening and closing. When they're open, they're wide. And when they're closed, they're shut as tight as possible.

We finally get the tube out of her. She screams like a new born and literally acts like one. Limbs flailing, red faced, screaming and crying hysterically. I've never heard her scream like this. It's so loud and ear-piercing, and scratchy. She screamed both in pain and in… terror. Similar to the way she screamed when she was stuck with those jabberjays in the arena, but way louder.

She claws at my shirt as I collect her in my arms. The doctors accommodate everything, and calm down slightly. I stare at her in shock, not knowing what's wrong with her. It'd look like she's possessed too, with her torso lifting up and down, twitching. Her eyes register me. Her pupils shrink and grow as they stare at me. I pant and I hold her. She keeps releasing small raspy noises. Her throat must hurt from the tube. I beam at her. She looks so confused. Like she doesn't believe that I'm here. She continues whimpering and wheezing and grunting. I somehow ended up sitting on her bed, with her legs wrapped around me.

She's calm down a little bit. Now that I'm here she's calmed down. "Hi." I say softly. I lean forward and kiss her sweat and tear-soaked face. She doesn't move, only releases little whimpers as I kiss her. "Hi, Katniss." I whisper against her lips. Her eyes are closed and has shaky breathing. Her lip quivers slightly as she inhales and exhales. She's tense and trembling. I hold one of her hands and I use my other to hold her up. Her fingers wrap tightly around one of mine. I look at our hands and I see the ring. I smile again and lean down to her face again. I kiss her lips- those lips I missed so much and that I needed to kiss. But I don't feel her kiss me back. She stays still as if this isn't happening. The only thing that keeps me encouraged is that her eyes are closed as I kiss her. It doesn't feel as good, not having her lips kissing mine. I feel her teeth under my lips. She really isn't trying. She's in shock. How could she not be?  
But she's not crying anymore. Why?

She would. Maybe she lost that small bit of affection for me. And she's not whispering anything back, she's not smiling. " _Smile."_ I wish I could say. _"Smile for me. Kiss me. Talk to me."_ As I kiss her, I open my eyes slightly, to see her grey eyes glaring at me. With our faces pressed together like this, it scares me. Her pupils are still changing shape.

"Katniss, how are you feeling, dear?" A female doctor asks. Katniss doesn't respond and she doesn't move.

"Katniss," I say softly. "How are you feeling?" I say for the doctor.

I wait for her answer.

But it doesn't come.

A doctor touches her arm, and Katniss flinches and yelps. She moves closer to me and shuts her eyes. She hides her face in my chest.

"It's okay. They're not going to hurt you, Katniss." I whisper. She trembles in my arms.

I hear Ivy speak softly behind me. "Aww…" She murmurs. "She's afraid. Poor thing."

With Katniss bunched at my chest, I smile again and kiss the top of her head. Her hands move and she keeps them near her lips. I see two fingers' knuckles go into her mouth, covering them with her saliva. I rock her back and forth.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

A whimper escapes her lips.

It sounds weird to be saying this, but she looked adorable. Sleepy, calm, and quiet Katniss at my chest. Safe from the world in my arms. The doctors fill out forms and observe us.

"It's okay." I whisper comfortably against her head. She whimpers again. "Shh… You're safe. Everything's okay."

She lifts her head to face me again. She looks so sleepy. The white part of her eyes aren't white; but red. I look into her grey eyes, and see them disappear and reappear as she blinks slowly. Her pupils seem to have accommodated to the lighting.

It still made me curious to know why she wouldn't speak. But I also told myself that we had to give her time. I wanted her to inspected, so they could find out just what kind of torture they put her through. Obviously, they starved and beat her.

Imagining her- scrawny and helpless and weak after weeks of torture- in a cell somewhere in the Capitol, being mistreated, sent shivers down my spine. They could have tortured her in so many ways other than beatings- shocks, burns, hair-pulling…. Every pain imaginable. Probably yelling horrendous things at her. I wanted to know why her eyes were like this. Red. It obviously isn't from missing sleep. This girl's been asleep for 5 days.

I thought of another form of torture that scared me the most. Someone forcing Katniss against her will. Abusing her sexually.

With the terrible thought, I tightened my grip around her and kissed her forehead.

"We need to check her." A doctor said. I lifted my head from Katniss's, but she kept her eyes glued on me. I looked back at her and nodded.

"They're going to make sure you're okay. Which you are, right?" I asked her. I nuzzled her nose with mine, bringing a smile to my face. She looked so innocent right now. Harmless. I started to open my arms, allowing her to move, but she stayed perfectly still as if she was molded by my body next to hers. I could see her starting to tremble again. Ivy got a small flashlight and I guessed it was for Katniss's eyes and her throat.

"Katniss?" Ivy said. "I need you to look over here for a second," She said calmly. Katniss kept her grey eyes on me. They scanned my body. They started at my eyes, then at my neck, to my torso, to my legs, which were criss-crossed on the bed. She would continue doing it, until Ivy touched Katniss's chin, trying to make Katniss face her. Katniss recoiled and grabbed Ivy's hand, shoving it away from her. I quickly came to Katniss's aid. I held her shoulders, and I noticed she was leaning away from Ivy and the doctors. She looked frightened.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" I told her. "Hm? They're not going to hurt you, sweetheart. They just want to help. Don't be scared." I pressed Katniss closer to me, and she rested her chin on my left shoulder, so she was facing the door. Away from the others.

I signalled to them to do whatever they could now that Katniss wasn't looking. They nodded and took out a black bandage- like thing that monitored people's blood pressure. Katniss's body relaxed.

A doctor wrap the thing around Katniss's arms, and instantly, she went tense, and she whipped her head around to face the doctors. She pulled at her arm and started to scream.

I didn't understand. She wasn't herself.

"Let go!" I told the doctor. "Just let her go."

She didn't trust them. But how would they know if she was healthy? We couldn't just rely on her outer status.

"Peeta we need to check her." They told me. I kept her close to me, and I smoothed out her black hair.

"I know you guys do. But she's afraid. Just give her a day or something to recuperate." Suddenly, a fear ran over me. What if Katniss was going mad, like Annie? Maybe all this torture caused her to change, and now she's gone mad like Finnick's lover.

"Peeta, what happens if there's something urgently wrong with her?"

Something we couldn't see. We needed to use X-rays, but I knew Katniss would be afraid. I looked down at her, and she was trying to sleep in my arms, but she was still biting her short nails, covering them with saliva. I cupped the back of her head and pressed her face against my chest. I felt her breathing through my jumpsuit. I heard footsteps outside.

"Katniss?"

Prim stood at the door with her mother by her side.

I lifted Katniss's chin. "Look, Katniss." I moved her head to the side, so she could see her family.

Prim smiled and walked quickly towards the bed.

"Now, Prim." I told her. "Katniss is in shock, and she's been acting a little strange."  
"Is she okay?"  
"We need to run scans and other things. But she appears to be okay." Ivy informed her. "She's afraid of all of us, but strangely, not Peeta."

"She's too scared to speak. She doesn't want to let go of me." I said with a snicker. "Here. Give me your hand." Prim hesitantly gave me her hand.

Oh, please let Katniss be brave. She can't be afraid of her little sister who she'd protected with her life. Prim was so innocent and gentle. No one could fear her. Katniss watched Prim's hand, and I slowly placed it on Katniss's forearm. Prim stared at Katniss. I observed her.

She stayed still in my arms. I smiled. Well, _there_ was someone else she trusted. It made me happy to know she still trusted Prim. What about her mother though?

"Why did I need to put my hand on her arm?" Prim asked.

"When the doctors try to touch her… she flinches and screams. She gets scared."

Mrs. Everdeen approached her and watched Katniss again. I knew they weren't close with each other, but they still cared for each other. Katniss's mother caressed Katniss's arm. I released a breath. Katniss looked into her blue eyes calmly as her mother stroked Katniss's cheek with the back of her finger.

Mrs. Everdeen smiled sadly and got closer to Katniss. I opened my arms so Prim and their mother could observe Katniss. She continued stroking her oldest daughter's cheek while Prim ran her hand up and down Katniss's back. Katniss kept resting her cheek against my chest. Prim wrapped her arms around her sister and I leaned back and moved so Katniss was in her arms. Then their mother joined their embrace. I held Katniss's waist to keep her calm as she was embraced by her family. They pulled away from her and brushed her black hair behind her ears, smiling. Katniss still had the emotionless, blank stare on her face.

"She really is in shock." Her mother said.

"She won't be for long." Ivy told her.

"So she's not letting you guys touch her?" Prim asked.

Ivy shook her head. "We tried to do a check up on her. She's afraid." In my mind, I wondered what Katniss was thinking of all our comments, about saying she's afraid and all that. She probably wanted to combust with anger and irritation. But who knew. I couldn't get into her mind, and I know that if I could, it would be a mess.

"Not only do we need to check her eyes and her throat etcetera, but her insides, so we're going to have to run a CAT scan." One of the doctors said, the one with the strawberry blonde hair.

"No." I said quickly. "That's going to scare the living daylights out of her." They weren't going to put Katniss in there. She was going to get frightened; by the shape she's currently in.

"I have a solution." The doctor replied hurriedly. "But I don't know if you'll be alright with it."

"Just tell me what you're thinking." I said calmly, but I put an edge in my voice.

"We could drug her." I looked at her strange, greyish-turquoise eyes. Maybe it could work. I didn't have anything against it.

"With what?" I ask.

"With enough morphling, you can knock someone out."  
"But I don't want her being knocked out again. She was knocked out by the Capitol for a week."  
"This is morphling. Not some… rare, pure chemical drug. It'll be a safe amount."

I nodded as I collected Katniss in my arms again, but instead, she sat with her back facing mine while she sat criss-crossed between my legs. "One exception." I blurted. "I have to inject her myself." The doctors nodded.

"Whatever helps her stay calm, I suppose." The male doctor said. From there, I laid Katniss back down on her hospital bed. Ivy fidgeted with tools and vials in a cupboard on the wall with a glass pane. Katniss looked calm, as long as I stayed by her side. Ivy brought small vial and a needle to the table near Katniss's table. A strong scent filled our scenes. I could tell this from Katniss because she looked at the clear liquid. Her pupils changed shape, from pinpoints to black holes. This whole day, her pupils would focus on something and dilate and contract. Her brow furrowed, and then Ivy handed the needle to me. It was the length of my pinky. "Try to make her look away. She might get scared." I nodded. Prim took charge of this and distracted Katniss by snapping her fingers and holding her hand. I could see Prim looking at Katniss's ring.

We extended Katniss's arm we were using. Ivy nearly touched Katniss's arm, but she stopped, realizing she could throw Katniss into panic. "Show me where to inject her." I told Ivy. She pointed very closely at a vein on the inside of Katniss's elbow.

"There. On that vein. You see it?" I nodded. It protruded and looked slightly green under her olive skin. "Just press the tip of the needle against it until you feel the skin break." I didn't want to hurt Katniss. How Ivy said, ' _until you feel the skin break'_. Now I was scared, too. I gulped and pressed the needle into the vein, watching the sharp point dip into the soft olive skin. I looked up at Katniss, who was turning her head, feeling the pain.

I pushed on the plunger, watching the liquid empty the clear syringe, and going into Katniss's blood stream.

Katniss moaned and whimpered as the drug pumped through her veins. I knew how morphling felt once it got injected into you. I had been given a dosage when I was ill in the hospital. It felt cold, and your muscles would go limp and they would relax as the drug passed through every blood vessel.

Katniss sighed and I put down the needle. I took her hand in mine. I kissed her fingers. "Shh…"

I stood up and kissed her forehead once her eyes closed.


	5. Chapter 5

**MOCKINGJAY PART 2 IN LESS THAN 4 MONTHS EVERYONE**

The doctors took Katniss into a room with the CAT scanner. They dressed her in a blue gown that was made especially for the scan and got her ready to go in. I was allowed to enter the room where they saw everything inside her. I stood behind the doctors as they settled down with their computers. I watched as Katniss's body entered the scanner.

Quickly, shapes and objects appeared on the screens of the doctor's computers. Each computer had something different. Katniss's brain, Katniss's torso…. And everything waist down, which I didn't pay too much attention to. The screen that showed her brain was what intrigued me the most. There were different colors, including black and white. There were strange splotches of green and red in the figures. The doctors pointed them out to each other and started recording information down on their clipboards. The splotches of red and green shifted on the x-ray. I looked at the torso x-rays, and saw the same green on Katniss's arms. What was this?

"What is that?" I asked.

They didn't hear me, and continued taking notes.

"Excuse me." I tapped one of the doctor's shoulders. "What's the green stuff?"

"We're not fully sure, Mr. Mellark."

"But you're going to find out, right?"  
"Yes, after we run more tests."  
"Is it bad? The green stuff?"  
"We don't know. We have no idea what it is. It could be the medicine we pumped into her arms or a virus. We promise we'll notify you when we find out."

A virus? I bit my lip. I had a feeling it wasn't one, for some reason. Most likely wasn't

After a few seconds, Prim and Mrs. Everdeen came in. I started to speak with Katniss's sister.

"Do you know what the colors mean?" I asked her.

"It could be a chemical. Nothing bad, I hope." She told me. "Do you think she's going to be out of shock once the test is over?"  
"Maybe. She seems pretty relaxed with the two of us with her."  
Prim nodded at my comment.

"I wonder what she'd think of the others; like Gale and Finnick. If she was still in shock, I mean."  
"She'd still trust Gale for sure. Perhaps Finnick. Maybe not too much though, because of the confusion in the last few minutes in the clock arena could still be confusing her."

"That's a good point." She replied.

I looked up, at the glass, which separated us and the doctors from the inside of the small room which contained the CAT scanner and a knocked out Katniss. I could only see her feet, sticking out of the scanner's large opening. I felt butterflies in my stomach… I bet she was going to be okay, though.

It happened fast. Katniss started to scream and squirm in the scanner. Without hesitation I got out of the room and entered Katniss's. I pulled her body out of the entrance and her hands reached for me. _"Easy, easy. It's okay. I've got you." Her body shivered and trembled against mine. I ran my hand down the back of her head. "Shh."_

 _Prim and other doctors entered the room._

 _"What happened?" Prim asked._

 _"She's scared. She woke up and got scared. That's what happened." I directed to everyone. Katniss's face peered up at mine. I looked back down at her. "Hey." I said in a cheerful voice. Her grey eyes blinked at me and her tense body then cuddled closer. She looked back at the other doctors curiously. They discussed things between themselves. Prim approached us and brushed Katniss's dark hair out of her face._

 _…_

 _The doctors led Katniss, Prim and I back into her hospital room. The doctors got Prim to connect Katniss to her monitors. Then the team who had been looking at the x-rays went into checking if Katniss was okay. Prim and I stayed by Katniss's side. She was still in shock. And it really troubled me. Ivy came by to give us Katniss's food. It was a simple silver tray with food similar to District 13's lunch. I settled the tray down on Katniss's blanket covered lap. Katniss looked down at the tray a bit clueless-like, so I picked up the fork and scooped up a broccoli. I held it against her rosy lips and she obediently opened her mouth and ate it._

 _"At least she's eating her vegetables." Prim smiled. I nodded I agreement. "There are some kids in the hospital who refuse to eat theirs."_

 _"She's not a kid, though." I said, a little too defensively.  
"But she is stubborn. And she's in shock, so I didn't really expect her to eat it."_

 _I continued feeding her until she started to give me a strange stare. I held the fork in front of her mouth, which had a piece of meat on it. On her plate, she only had a small amount of meat left. I pressed the meat to her lips gently and her head tilted back slightly. "Are you full?" I asked her. "I can only know if you speak, Katniss." She looked away._

 _"I wonder why she isn't saying anything. It's unlike her." Prim noted._

 _"Katniss." Her eyes didn't meet mine. I put the fork down. "I wonder what she's thinking. If she's mad or something. Or if she just doesn't want to cooperate." Katniss's jaw moved and she grinded her teeth. "Maybe I just pissed her off right there. But yeah. Like you said, it's unlike her how she's not speaking. But it's shock."_

 _Prim smiled at her sister. "I don't care if she's in shock. At least she's here, right?"_

 _"Right." I replied. Katniss licked her dry lips. Her hand twitched suddenly. Her eyes closed and she breathed deeply. I took the tray off her lap and placed it on the table next to her bed. Someone knocked at the door. Prim and I looked at the door to see Finnick. "Hey." We greeted him. He looked down at Katniss. Her grey eyes looked back at his sea green ones. Her pupils dilated and contracted. We explained to Finnick that Katniss was still in shock, and how she was having social problems. Finnick got closer to Katniss, and her eyes widened with fear and she started to shake her head at me. Whimpering noises came from the back of her throat. I placed my hand up near her collarbones, holding her back. "Katniss, this is Finnick. Remember him?" Finnick looked curiously at Katniss. I could feel her heartbeat accelerate. "She's scared of you." I murmured. I took my hand off her upper chest and then held her hand._

 _"Does that happen with everyone?" He asked, observing her bloodshot eyes that kept flitting at mine and then his._

 _Prim shook her head. "No. Katniss was calm around our mother and Peeta. But it's worse with doctors. She quickly panics the moment they come into the room. She definitely has more trust in you than she has in them."_

 _"It's a weird form of shock." Finnick observed._

 _"It is." Prim replied. "But we'll know the cause once the doctors tell us the news. They did x-rays on her a few minutes ago."_

 _"It's good that she's here. She's safe from the Capitol."_

 _…_

 _About 5 minutes after Finnick left, Mrs. Everdeen. "You two can go see the x-rays. I'll look after Katniss." Mrs. Everdeen said._

 _"Is everything okay?" Prim asked._

 _Her mother swallowed and looked worried. "Um… it's hard for me to explain." Prim joined me at the door, and before we left I turned to see Mrs. Everdeen brushing Katniss's hair out of her face. There was a doctor outside waiting for us. She led us to a small room that had x-ray pictures everywhere. Plutarch and Katniss's doctor with the strawberry hair, Vada, was there too._

 _"Peeta. Prim." Plutarch greeted us._

 _"Plutarch." I nodded my head at him. "So." I started. "How is everything?" I asked, as we sat down._

 _Vada bit her lip. "Unusual." She said, her hazel eyes meeting mine. "It's not something we see every day. I've never seen something quite like what's wrong with Katniss." I started to worry. I wanted to know what was wrong._

 _"And what is that?"_

 _"It's something called hijacking." Plutarch told us. Vada opened files on her computer and x-rays popped up. They were shots of the ones I had seen at the CAT scan. I saw the green and red splotches. One x-ray was of Katniss's brain and the other of everything between her neck and waist, including arms. There was a lot of green on the brain x-ray and little red, and one of her arms had green streaks. "The green color you see here," Vada pointed out. "Is morphling. And the red is tracker jacker venom."_

 _"Tracker jacker?" Prim asked._

 _"It's a mutt that the Capitol placed in me and Katniss's first games. They're like wasps." I explained.  
"Ooh. Right, I remember now. But what is the venom doing in her brain?" Prim inquired._

 _"We figured that the Capitol was injecting it into her, and it made its way into her head. Same with the morphling. The morphling in Katniss's brain is not from us, but also from the Capitol." Plutarch pointed a finger at Katniss's arm. "The morphling here is from 13."  
"Wait… what's this hijacking thing?" I asked. "Can you explain it?"_

 _"Of course. The substances they injected into Katniss altered her memory. The reason she isn't speaking… or responding to anyone, is because of the heavy amount of morphling. They gave her so much of it that it damaged her memory. Also, the venom gave her hallucinations. It caused her memories of people to get blurred, so now she doesn't trust them. It seems like the memories of you and Prim and their mother was something she was able to remember. If she had been given more venom… I don't think she'd trust anyone at all. So basically, she isn't in shock… she's just heavily drugged. Some of the morphling left her system during her coma. The reason she went unconscious was because she had too much morphling in her. The fact that she needed to be fed might mean that she needs help doing other human basics similar to eating."_

 _"Such as?" I asked._

 _"Grooming, or bathing… walking and dressing." This all sounded childish. Like Katniss was a child… but… walking? Really?  
"Will she get better?"  
"Most likely." Plutarch said, sounding a bit unsure. We just need to get her used to people. If she sees Finnick more often she might trust him. What did she do when Gale encountered her?"  
I furrowed my brow. "Gale hasn't visited her. Not that I know of, anyway…" I looked at Prim curiously._

 _"He hasn't visited her." She told everyone._

 _"How long will it take for Katniss to recuperate?" I asked desperately. I wanted to know. I needed to know._

 _Vada shook her head. "We don't have a clue. Who knows how long it would take for the morphling and the venom to leave her body. Probably a while. Minimum 3 weeks, and with her recuperation after the substances leave her body, another week" I looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry. But Katniss is going to be in this mute state for an unknown amount of time."_

 _…_

 _Haymitch found me in my dormitory sitting on my bed. I wasn't handling all this very well. I wanted to hear her voice and see her smile. I wanted to walk around the district with her. And take her out onto the surface. Feel her kiss me. But I wouldn't get a lot of that for who knew exactly how long._

 _"At least she still loves you." He told me._

 _"You don't know that."  
"But the way she cuddles with you. It's obvious."  
"She appreciates me. She doesn't love me. She can't remember me a hundred percent. She only knows that she can trust me and that I make her comfortable and relaxed."  
"Alright. Believe what you want. But I bet you'd rather have her the way she is now than having her reject your hugs and comfort."_

 _I sighed._

 _"By the way, you're in charge of caring for the girl once she leaves the hospital."  
"Okay. I can do that. What about Prim and her mother?"  
"They'll help too. But since they have a busier schedule, you're like the main carer. Also, Katniss trust you the most out of everyone. When you have a mission or something, they'll take your place." _

_I nodded. I was actually glad they put me in charge. But the only thing that concerned me was the fact that I had to help Katniss bathe._

 _ **Well, now you all know that Katniss isn't really in shock… she's hijacked, but in a mild way. The reason she was hijacked this way was because the Capitol thinks that by making Katniss all needy and helpless, she can slow down or stop Peeta's role as the mockingjay or whatever.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: The ending of this chapter is a little awkward and may appear a tiny bit smut-like to the reader, but it is not intended to.**

Katniss was released from the hospital that following morning. When I arrived to her hospital room, she was sitting up on the bed with her sister, having cotton balls taped to her arms where the needles had been taken out. She was wearing a white long sleeve shirt (the sleeves were rolled up because Prim was taping the cotton balls on her arms) that some people wore underneath their jumpsuits here. She wore the grey pants and ankle boots. Her hair looked brushed. She looked like she was ready to go.

"How did you dress her?" I asked. "Did she let you?"

"Yeah. She was calm about it. I put everything on and buttoned it all up, and she sort of cooperated."

"How so?" I asked.

"She'll put her arms through the sleeves. Also she'll step into the pants. But she's hesitant. It isn't hard to get everything on her. I just took the hospital gown off of her like a piece of cake- she stood still and watched me or just looked at the wall."

"Oh." I knew I was going to have to bathe her. That was the only thing that made me mildly concerned. I walked up to Katniss and her eyes lit up. We kept our eyes on each other's.

"This is awkward, what I'm about to say. But you should know." _  
_"Go ahead." I replied, facing Prim.  
"It's hard to get her bra on." I pursed my lips. If I was going to help Katniss undress and bathe and whatnot, it meant I had to put her undergarments on…

"Okay." I mumbled. "I'll keep that in mind. So… should I take her to your compartment and just keep her company?"  
"Or yours. Doesn't matter. But yeah. Look after her and keep her calm. Plutarch said that she should stay in there and try to avoid people she doesn't know if we want her to get better. Also, she might get flashbacks, so if she panics or gets frightened suddenly, it's not to worry. Either my mom or I will come by with Katniss's food. Then we can switch and you can go do what you need to do."  
"Sounds good. What if I have to be gone a whole day? Like if I have a mission?"  
"Then I can care for her. Or my mom. Don't worry. We'll work it out."

"Okay." I sat down in a chair in front of Katniss's bed as Prim finished getting the cotton balls on her arms.

"Plutarch and Vada said that she might sleep a lot more, with the heavy dosage of morphling she had."  
"I wouldn't doubt it. But that's fine. Can she walk?" I really hopped so. I wouldn't be able to carry Katniss everywhere. Katniss might be about 10 pounds lighter than I am. But that's still heavy. She might weigh 120 or something.

Not that it mattered.

"Yeah, she can walk, but she's just a little slow. She obviously won't be as strong and active, so she won't do too much while she's like this."

I nodded. "Alright." Katniss looked up at me. "Ready to leave this ugly place?" I asked her. I held out my hands, but I didn't expect her to place her hands on mine. She did, anyways. Hesitantly. "Come on." I told her, pulling slightly.

"Can you stand up, Katniss?" Prim asked. Her feet shuffled on the white tiled floor slightly. Then she cautiously lifted herself off the bed. She held on to my wrists and I held onto hers. I took a few steps back and she walked towards me slowly.

"See?" Prim watched us. "She'll get used to it and eventually she'll get better at it. Sort of like a toddler."

…

We left the infirmary slowly. I held Katniss's cold hand tightly and she kept herself close to my side like a magnet. It was tricky to get her through all the corridors without me having to pull her right in front of me, her back to my chest, so that she didn't panic too much. She would tremble or make some sort of noise when someone passed us or was coming our way.

When we were approaching Katniss's family's compartment, I slid open the door and Katniss peeked her head in. I think she was making sure that it was clear of people. She walked in carefully, keeping her hands up near her mid-torso, her fingers fidgeting with each other. She peered over to the bedroom section of the compartment and then turned around to look at me. I closed the door behind me and walked in.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. There wasn't anything to do here in this dreary, grey district, especially now that Katniss seemed to have a phobia of strangers. I had her sit down on the sofa built into the wall. I spent a few hours speaking with her. It seemed useless, because she never replied, but it made me feel better.

I noticed something, though. She seemed to like hearing me speak. As I spoke, her eyes would flit away, but I would finish my sentence or something, and she would look back at me. There was confusion in her eyes, as if she was asking why I had stopped.

If she could speak this would be better. I would be able to make her remember a lot if she could speak. I wondered if she understood me. I knew she could hear, knowing from yesterday that she got anxious when she heard loud noises or voices. She could see and hear, but she was like an Avox. The only thing that made her different made compared to one was that she had a tongue. It had me stumped why she couldn't speak. Some of the doctors figured she may have Major Depressive Disorder because of her silence. But I always question it because there's no reason why she should be depressed anymore, especially with her family safe and me here (because she is so attached to me).

Around one, Prim arrived with a small tray, and a large bowl-like thing was sitting on top of the tray, keeping whatever was inside warm. Katniss had been observing the picture of her father for the past hour as she sat cross-legged between my legs on the floor, her body facing me. When the door slid open, Katniss jumped and crawled towards me. I held her close until we realized who it was. The tray Prim had brought with her had food inside, so I figured it was for Katniss. There was a small paper cup on the outside of the bowl thing.

Katniss's pills.

"Its break time." Prim said as she placed the tray containing Katniss's lunch and medications on the table. "I'll look after her now. How was she?"  
"Quiet. But she was observing that picture of you two's father for a while. She might recognize him." Except there isn't really a point to, I nearly said. Saying that could hurt Prim. I scolded at myself inside. Katniss watched Prim cluelessly.

I left her in her sister's care. Prim told me that when I came back, she needed to go back to the hospital. Then she told me that it would be Katniss's bath time.

I blush.

I wish I could bring Katniss with me to lunch for company, despite I had Finnick. And Gale- although there always seems to be some kind of tension in the air when I'm near him. If I had to choose between Katniss- the old Katniss- Finnick and Gale I would pick Katniss.

I'd like to have her company rather than anyone else's. Not only do I love her, but she was like comfort, before she got hijacked. She still sort of is, but she was more of ease when she could speak and think straight.

How I want to see her smile again, and hear her laugh. But I'd have to find a new way to make her smile or laugh now. Other than those two qualities, I loved her eyes. Without any makeup, her eyes were always calming. So sometimes when I stared into them, they calmed me. Unless she was frightened or in panic. After that time Finnick apparently brought me back from the dead, the first thing I saw was Katniss with tears pouring out of her eyes like a steady cascade. Even then, I felt a bit calm because I knew she was relieved, that she was okay. It was me who hadn't been okay then. But I could care less about myself if it came down to the two of us again.

I found Finnick sitting with Annie and Gale, and like I had imagined, the first thing they asked about was Katniss. Actually, it was Finnick who'd asked, not Gale.

"She hasn't really changed." I replied.

"So she's in progress?" Finnick asked.

"I suppose you could say that." I looked at Gale, but then I immediately looked away because I noticed he was glaring at me.

"Who's looking over her now?" He said. "Now that you're here?"

"Prim."  
"On days where you and Prim aren't available, who else would look over her?"

I started to get annoyed. I knew what he wanted. "Gale, if what you want is to look over her, I'll tell you that you're going to have to approach her with her going crazy first." I said with a bit of edge in my voice. I thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get all mad with him.

"When can I?"

I bit my lip. I didn't want Gale near Katniss. Although, he could help with her recovery. Well, he couldn't see her today. He had all his stuff to do, for he had a busier schedule than mine. And I had to give Katniss a bath. But instead of telling Gale that I responsible for that… "I think tomorrow. Katniss has treatment this afternoon at the hospital."

"Okay."  
I didn't feel really good about this. It felt nice having Katniss to myself. I had forgotten that Katniss and Gale were friends—with a history of being lovers- but now, with Katniss lost in some dreamy, perplexed world, it doesn't seem right to call them lovers. I never liked calling them that, anyways. Finnick and Annie spoke with each other while Gale and I finished our food in silence. It had gotten awkward between the two of us again.

I returned to the compartment, the tray that held Katniss's lunch was on the countertop. Prim was sitting on the built in couch reading a book that said First Aid on the front. Right. She was being trained.

And on the floor, was Katniss.

She was rolling around and biting her fingernails. Her head snapped back to face me at the door.

"Hey." I directed to the two of them. When she saw me, her head lowered back down onto the carpet.

"Hi. Did you have a good break?" Prim asked sweetly. I nodded, getting down to Katniss's level. Her dark hair was pulled back into one of her typical braids, except this one went straight down her head, not diagonal. I supposed Prim had done her sister's hair. Katniss's head lifted off the floor and I brushed one of her fly-aways behind her ear. "Well Katniss didn't eat very much. Just wanted to let you know. The leftovers are on the counter, in case she gets hungry later."  
"Alright. Did she take her pills?"

"Yeah. But she doesn't know how to swallow them. So she chewed them."  
"And that's okay?"  
"Yeah. They aren't capsules. So it's all good. Anyways, I should get back to the infirmary. One of us should make use of time."

"Yup. Thanks for watching over her while I was on my break."  
"You're welcome." And she was off.

Well. I knew what time it was now. I looked back down at Katniss and her eyes met mine.

"Bath time." I told Katniss. I pursed my lips and took in a deep breath. "I hope you're okay with me… um… me helping you… you know."

It flashed through my head that this meant helping her undress. I wasn't like the old Katniss who was awfully pure- I didn't really have a problem with naked people. But this was Katniss. This was my crush. My crush who couldn't speak or make sense of things in her head anymore.

This was going to be tough for me to get through without getting aroused. That usually only happened nowadays when Katniss looked stunning, though… like the Quarter Quell's tribute parade. She had never looked more erotic with the black makeup or with that flaming dress that exposed her legs to me.

Anyways, I got Katniss to stand up and led her to the bathroom. I closed the door, and was already starting to grow anxious. Katniss was looking at the tub that had a shower head above it. I sighed. "You need to bathe, Katniss." I told her. When she heard my voice she turned around. "Are you going to need help with that?" I asked. For answer, I would look at her eyes and search for confusion. And that's exactly what I saw. She blinked at me. I didn't know how to start. Prim told me this morning how Katniss didn't seem to mind being dressed and undressed by others. That fact that I had to undo those three buttons on her shirt made my ears burn. It was going to seem as if… as if…

…I took a deep breath. My eyes flitted to the buttons on her chest. But instead, I walked around her and turned on the bathtub's tap to a lukewarm temperature, so water started to pour into the tub. I looked back at Katniss.

"Alright." I murmured. "I'm guessing you're okay with this." I approached her again and my hands hesitantly went to the three white buttons. She looked down at my hands and watched as my fingers slowly set every button free. Once I was done with that, I faced her calm grey eyes. My fingers pulled at both sleeves of her shirt, then I let my fingertips slip right under the hem of her shirt. Katniss stood still and patient. I wondered if she knew that this meant she was getting changed. I looked straight ahead of me (Katniss's hairline) and let my fingers slide under her shirt. I felt the material of her pants but I froze when I felt her warm skin. I decided that I couldn't be like this the whole time. I clenched my jaw and ran my hands up her ribcage, passing her bra until I felt her arms. I was able to slip the shirt off her head and, like Prim had said, Katniss cooperated. She lifted her arms slightly so it was easier for me. The shirt fell to the white tiled floor.

I took her in. Olive skin with perfect imperfections. I felt myself starting to get stimulated. She was so beautiful. I could see her ribs a bit, but not the extent of danger. I had the urge to run my fingers along her collarbones, which had red marks on them, I don't know from what. It was like her skin had been painted, like a bruise, but cherry-colored. But I wasn't going to take this innocent, pure and naïve Katniss as an advantage for sex or anything of that sort. I wouldn't ever take advantage of her. People might think I would, but it isn't true.

Katniss looked at me in question. "Are you going to continue?" It seemed like she wanted to say. I hoped she knew I wasn't going to touch her for my pleasure. Neither for hers. I hoped she knew that if I did, it was because I was helping her. I wasn't trying to achieve anything.

I got her pants off of her and she stepped out of them, and what she did next surprised me.

She started to get rid of everything else. It appeared like she knew. She knew from what she has seen me doing, that she has to take everything off. I watched, helplessly, feeling my insides melt. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She was the most beautiful girl. Her scars made her who she was. I knew this image would be in my mind forever. And I felt rather ashamed. I knew I was blushing all shades of red and pink. It felt like she was teasing me, which she wasn't. She was so innocent. She doesn't know anything. I didn't want to look any lower than her hips. But when I did, it wasn't what you'd expect that made me curious. On her inner thighs were more of those red bruises. Same on her breasts. This was all too much. She was so perfect and I never imagined how beautiful she'd be.

I didn't realize that I had been observing her for five minutes. I wanted to run my hands by every inch of her skin. I had to resist her. I wasn't going to do this until she got better. That is, if she wanted to. Which I knew she wouldn't. I don't think the real Katniss would do that with anyone. She isn't that kind of girl.

Well now all I had to do was get her in the bath. I tried to keep my eyes up, knowing the real Katniss wouldn't want me gawking at her body. My eyes would flit to her body. Each time I did, I scolded at myself.

I got hold of one of her hands and led her to the bathtub which was nearly full. I turned off the tap and realized Katniss was looking at me.

I carried her into the bathtub. There wasn't anything else I could do. She accommodated herself on the tub's floor, the ends of her hair getting wet. I got the cup from the sink and would allow water into it, and then would poor it onto Katniss's hair and her shoulders until I knew she wasn't dry any more. Her hands would play with the water, splashing a bit, cupping it up in her hands and dipping each finger into the liquid one by one. I reached for the shampoo and squeezed some into my hand. I started to lather the shampoo on her dark, wet hair. I scrubbed and scratched her scalp softly. She turned her head to an angle so that I could scratch another part of her head. I allowed myself a smile. The soap turned to a foamy white and the scent of lavender filled my senses. The fact that I was bathing Katniss reminded me of the time she did that for me in our first Hunger Games. Except that we were being hunted and were on live television, and here, we are safe and by ourselves. Just me and Katniss. My smiled widened. I leaned forward and gave her a kiss on her nose.

 **This is my last chapter post before school starts. I will continue the rest of this scene in the next chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7

_I scrubbed her head with my fingers until her hair molded into a puffy state that collected at her ears, and it looked like she didn't have her long hair anymore. I got the cup and dumped it over her head. It appeared like she wasn't expecting it, so she shut her eyes and after the water got dumped on her and turned to me with some look that could be related to some mild anger, but of course, it was mixed with confusion. I smiled softly as her heavy eyelids blinked and she rubbed her eyes. I finished washing her hair, feeling relieved but then I realized that the hardest part was coming._

 _Now I had to bathe her body._

 _I ran the bar of soap along my hands, Katniss's grey eyes watching. I looked back at her, and then placed my hands on her bare shoulders. Her head turned back to face the wall as I started to lather the soap along her smooth skin, spreading it on her back and her arms. Her hands lifted out of the water voluntarily, letting me cover her whole arms with soap. It seemed like she was really enjoying this bath I was giving her._

 _"Alright." I whispered. I let my hands run down her torso, avoiding certain areas. I didn't want to do this. Not now. Not with Katniss like this. If felt wrong, because I didn't have full consent from her, and I wouldn't get any with her condition. So, I only let my hands go on her collarbones and her stomach. I got her to turn around so I washed her legs, not letting my hands go any farther from her mid-thighs. I finished off her bath with soaping her hips and a kiss on her head._

 _I loved her so much. But I knew that bathing her while she was like this wasn't right. I wrapped her body and hair up in separate towels. I dried her off and then gathered her in my arms. I held her against my chest, cradling her limp body in my arms. Her body shuddered and she released a whimper. I looked down to see if she was okay. Katniss's nose was turning red, as it usually did when she was going to cry. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her brows furrowed into a shape that looked like she was going to cry. Her bottom lip quivered, and her body continued to tremble._

 _"What's wrong?" I ask her, raising her chin. Her eyes flicker open, her pupils changing shape. Her eyelashes are wet with tears that formed but didn't fall. She looks at me anxiously. Then her grey eyes dart everywhere. I calm her with hushing noises. Maybe some memories were coming back to haunt her._

 _She yawned, and then I realized I had forgotten to get her clean clothes. I set her back down on the tiled floor and quickly got a nightgown and clean under wear for her. I got her underwear on and then slipped the white nightgown over her head and buttoned up the three buttons at the front. I didn't see why I needed to get her back in normal 13 clothing if she wasn't going to be leaving the compartment. At least, not until she got better. Whenever that may be._

 _We exited the bathroom and I sat her down on the couch, then started to run a brush along her tangled, wet hair. I watched as the dark twists easily untangled as the brush's bristles smoothed out every strand. I finished brushing her hair and then realized her eyelids were drooping. I carried her to one of the compartment's beds, supporting her head and lowering her down onto the mattress. I crouched down beside her, holding her hand. Almost immediately, she curled up into a ball and closed her eyes._

 _…_

 _The next day, Boggs called me to command. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen watched over Katniss. The moment I was called, I knew that it meant that I was going on a mission. I didn't want to leave Katniss. I wanted to be here by her side as she recuperated. I had realized, though, that I had forgotten about leading this rebellion. I had grown preoccupied with Katniss. If she wasn't in her foggy, confusing state, I probably wouldn't have been so anxious._

 _We got to command and I took a seat at the table where Coin and Plutarch sat._

 _"Good afternoon." Plutarch greeted me. I nodded in response. "How's Katniss?"  
"She's doing well. Nothing new, but she's fine."  
"Well, that's good, isn't it? And, I understand that you want to be there with her as long as possible. But it's been a while since you've done anything, like a propo, or training, Peeta." Plutarch said._

 _"What we mean is that we need you to come back for a second." Coin said to me in a stern voice. "We rescued Katniss so you could get a worry off your chest. But remember what's important here."_

 _I sighed. "I'm sorry" was all I could say. They obviously knew how much I liked to stick by her side. It was hard not to._

 _"We want to send you to Two. It's the last place to go before we take on the Capitol."_

 _"Okay. How long would it be? The mission?"  
"A few days at the least. Look, I know it's Katniss you're worrying about, but I assure you she's going to be fine, Mr. Mellark. She still has her family here to take care of her."_

 _If Katniss wasn't hijacked, I'd let this slip a bit easily._

 _"This isn't by choice. We're running out of time."_

 _They ended the meeting with them telling me when training started. Tomorrow. Three days later, I was leaving along with the others._

 _…_

 _When I went back to the Everdeen's compartment, I was surprised to find Gale there. Prim was sitting next to Katniss on the couch. Katniss was looking down at the floor, her hair braided back. Prim's hands were on Katniss, keeping her steady. Gale was about three meters away from Katniss. He probably let himself in._

 _The three pairs of eyes landed on me when I entered._

 _"Peeta, Gale came to visit Katniss." Prim told me.  
"I can see that." I said, meeting Gale's cold stare. "Hey." I nodded at him, and he nodded back. Katniss was staring at me with worried eyes. I quickly approached her and her arms went to my chest. She rested her head on the place above my heart and I embraced her. I saw her pupils contracting and dilating, trying to figure out who this other person in front of her was. She looked back at Gale, her brow furrowing._

 _"Do you think it's okay if he comes closer?" Prim asked me._

 _"Yeah." I replied late. "Gale, you can step closer. See what she does." I opened my arms, but Katniss stayed in place. Gale walked closer and got down on his knees. Katniss looked lost. She looked scared, shocked, and perplexed._

 _"Hey Catnip." He said to her. The moment he said her nickname, I felt Katniss's body twitch. They observed each other's eyes until Katniss stretched her neck forward, trying to get a better view of his face._

 _It took us all by surprise what happened next. Katniss's confused stare turned to complete fear. She began to tremble and twitch suddenly. Her head whipped around, looking at her surroundings, then at Gale, and she pushed backwards, kicking the air, trying to get away from him. Prim and I took action. We grabbed a hold of her arms and wrists, causing her to scream. She panicked and started to go insane. Prim helped me get a thrashing Katniss into my arms and I quickly took her to the bedroom area of the compartment. She screamed and cried and I set her down on the bed._

 _"Shh. Easy, Katniss. It's okay." I told her in a calm voice. She let out a high pitched screech. Her hands flew to her head, and she continued screaming. I embraced her, kissed her head, whispering soothing words. After I calmed her screaming, she rested her head on my shoulder. Her fingers were shaking and clawing at my shirt, and I felt her bite down on my shoulder, containing a small scream. There were strange growls coming out of her. I pulled her away from me, holding her in my arms like I did a when she woke up, like a newborn. Her hands suspended themselves in the air again, her grey eyes staring back at me. Her pupils were pinpoints, which were so tiny they scared me. Her bottom lip quivered._

 _"What am I going to do with you?" I whispered. She was broken. So broken. I didn't know how I was going to be able to leave her. My beautiful Katniss. I knew she needed me, especially now. I kissed her nose and her hands grabbed onto my shoulders. "I love you." I told her._

 _In response, her pupils grew in size, looking normal; her pink, cracked lips parting slightly. For a second, I saw her. The real Katniss. She was there for a second._

 _…_

 _Those three days passed faster than I imagined._

 _In a matter of hours I found myself holding Katniss in my arms at her and her family's compartment with her mother and Prim behind her. She had no idea what was going on. She didn't know that I was going to be gone for a few days. She didn't know that maybe, just maybe, we may never see each other again. But I told myself I had to come home to her. She needed me._

 _I was wearing most of uniform, she was wearing her white nightgown. She had the front parts of her hair pulled back so only her side bangs framed her pretty, oval face. I kissed her all over. Her pointed nose, her shark cheekbones, her olive forehead and her pink lips._

 _I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave._ _I didn't want to leave._

 _Katniss stayed still as I kissed her face. I looked into her eyes and she looked back at me calmly. I knew there was anxiety written all over my face._

 _Finnick was waiting behind me, at the door. I felt a numb sensation in my chest when I heard a beep come from Finnick's cuminicuff. There was no doubt about it. It was a message saying that we needed to go._

 _"Peeta. We need to get going." He told me. I nodded and kissed Katniss's nose, and the ends of her lips turned upward, very, very slightly, as if giving me a very small, satisfied smile, which she'd never given me in her state._

 _I left her, and I swear that I saw light drain out of her eyes right before they shut the door._

 _I'm slowly drifting to you_

 _The stars and the planets_

 _Are calling me_

 _I'm on my way_

 _I'm on,_

 _I'm on…_


	8. Chapter 8

"How is it over there?" Haymitch asked me through the earpiece.

"Bad. People get killed at almost every step they take." I tell him. "Pods everywhere. There's also this lonely feeling in this place."

"I can imagine."  
I was in District 2, it was night time, and we were in a rebel base camp. I was speaking to Haymitch through my earpiece, and I missed Katniss dearly. I wondered if she would have come along with us if she wasn't hijacked. I'd like that, but at the same time I wouldn't. If she was out here in the battle field, I would have to protect her, and this would be all too stressful for me. I felt a little calm knowing she was in a safe place far from the Capitol's reach.

"How's Katniss doing?"  
"I knew you'd ask that." Haymitch sighed. "From what I've been told, she's doing well."  
"Have you approached her yet?"  
"Yes, actually, I have. Earlier today I did. She looked confused but scared."

"That was the same thing that happened with Gale." I told him. "He came as close to a foot from her, and Katniss was observing him closely and she looked really puzzled. But all of a sudden, she lost it and snapped."  
"Well she didn't snap with me. I didn't get very close. Maybe that's why. But I finally got a good look at her face later."  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. I was hanging around with her sister and her mother while she was sleeping. Still pretty with those freckles."

I smiled softly. Her freckles weren't too noticeable- unless you got really close, you could see the tiny flecks along her nose and under her upper cheeks. They always popped out when she blushed.

"You miss her?"  
"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Her presence, Peeta. Her being at your side. What else would I mean? Do you wish she was there with you?"  
"No. I'd rather know she's safe and away from any war and violence. Far from Snow's reach." I explained. "I miss the old Katniss." I said suddenly.

"I know. I suppose I do too. It feels strange to be around her without her being able to speak or focus or anything."

I nodded at his answer. I started getting that feeling again. The forlorn sensation. I got it quite often nowadays. I missed the real Katniss so much. But Snow took her from me. She was lost, searching for a way out of the foggy, hijacked world she was in. Searching for a way back into the real world, back to her family and to me, maybe. I wondered what she was up to right now. It was about 7 PM, and Katniss always ate her dinner around this time. Or maybe there was a time zone difference. I wasn't sure. Perhaps she was being fed. Or maybe she had already eaten, and was bundled up in a twister of blankets, being comforted by her sister, trying to find sleep. I wondered if she missed me. If she was staring at the wall, her brows furrowed, trying to figure out what was missing.

Haymitch's voice came back to me. "Peeta,"

"Yeah?" I replied. "Sorry. I was just thinking of her."  
"'Course you were," Haymitch said. "Wouldn't doubt it."

"What's she up to right now?"

"Heck, I don't know. Sleeping? Eating? Crying…"

"Don't."  
"Hey, you wanted to know what she was doing. Honest, though. That's basically all she does. And she likes to wallow around."

"Yes. She day dreams, too. I can tell."

"That reminds me. Today, when I was in her and her family's compartment, you know how she was sleeping?"  
I nodded. "Yes."

"She woke up a few minutes later, screaming her head off. A nightmare. Prim and her mother tried to calm her down, but it actually took them an hour for Katniss to actually quiet down. And then it took like twenty five minutes for her to get back to sleep."

"Oh."

This made me realize how much she needed me. When she had nightmares it took me seconds to soothe her to sleep. I wish I could fly back to 13, right now, and get Katniss in my arms, and comfort her.

Each day, Haymitch gave me updates on Katniss. Most of the updates worried me. Sometimes he'd say that she skipped a meal. Or that she hid under the table all day. On the last day of my mission, however, I got a different update.

"She's sick." Haymitch said.  
"Great." I sighed.

"It's just a cough and the common cold. Nothing big, so dont worry about it." He assured me.

"When did she get sick?" I asked.

"This morning. Doctors say the morphling in her body will help her feel better."  
I scoffed. "She's too overdosed on morphling. She's literally drunk because of it. It won't benefit her in any way. She's just going to feel confused and tired like always."

It was late and it was dark out. Only the lights in the middle of the camp ground's paths illuminated the area. I sat on a log that surrounded the unlit fire pit.

"I don't know. Maybe she won't feel as… sick as she would without all the morphling."

I sighed again. I wanted to be there for her. "Has she been acting any different since I left?"  
"The only thing that stands out is the fact that she doesn't want to eat anymore. That's all, really."  
"Is she losing weight?" I exclaimed, starting to get anxious.

"Probably. I'm not trying to worry you. But probably. She hasn't eaten a full meal all day." It was 11 at night. I covered my face with my hands and groaned.

"Can't the doctors inject her vitamins or something? They can do that, right?"  
"I can't answer your medical questions about your girl. I'm no doctor."

"Then bring it up. Give them the idea. I don't want Katniss starving herself any longer. I know she's anxious from my absence. There's no other valid reason why she'd stop eating." I told my mentor.

"So? You think it's your fault the girl's starving herself?"  
"No, I never said that... I just wish I'd stayed."

"It wasn't a choice. You were going to get dragged out there anyways." Haymitch replied. There was a moment of silence. "Look." He sighed. "How about you finish your mission, then go home to your pussycat."

"For **fuck's** sake," I hissed. I ripped the earpiece off, hung up on my mentor, and then threw it into the trees.


	9. Chapter 9

**Leave a review? I want feedback!**

District 2 was a complete nightmare. Thank god it was over. I could take a break from all this killing and threatening and absolute terror.

Before leaving the camp to return home, Haymitch updated me that Katniss's cold was still at the same as it had been. Stuffy nose, sneezing, and fatigue. With Katniss mute, they didn't know if she had headaches or muscle aches, so they couldn't say she had flu.

I was desperate to get back to Katniss and nurture her. Apparently, she was eating again, so that's what relaxed me. I was surprised to find Prim at the hovercraft docking in 13, waiting for me. She accompanied me to drop off my things and then she led me to their compartment.

"Katniss is going to be really happy to see you again." Prim told me.

"Did her personality change while I was gone?"

"She wasn't as very calm. Her anxiety was definitely up. We couldn't get her to go to sleep, and she would avoid eating,"

"Haymitch told me about her starving herself."

"It was worrying. We tried to get the needle in her like Haymitch told us you had suggested, but she would sense it or something. If she couldn't see a needle, she'd sense the tension and just go insane. It's good you're back, though. I think you're the only cure for her. You can keep her calm when no one else can."

And I knew it was true. True before she got hijacked, I think. When Prim opened the door, Katniss was curled up on one of the beds with her mother sitting at the tables, reading some kind of manual. She looked up and smiled at me tenderly.

"Hello, Peeta." She said softly. "It's good to see you again." I smiled back and then we all turned our attention to Katniss. She looks a bit surprised to see me again. Her nose was red, from her cold probably. I approached her, and she sat herself up slowly, and her arms reached for me like a small child. I lifted her off the bed to get her on her feet, and then I embraced her. Her head fell slack against my chest.

"Hey, Katniss." I said. I kissed her head, and her grey eyes peered up at me. I grinned at her, nuzzling our noses together. Her cheekbones looked a bit more prominent, but not unhealthily. She didn't feel any lighter, which made me relax. I was so grateful, I was finally with her again. Safe and sound. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen came into my field of view. "So no improvements in her hijacking?" I asked them.

Mrs. Everdeen shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. Nothing changed except for her health. But she'll be okay. It's just a cold." I could hear the strange wheezing coming from her nose, and then she coughed a bit.

"Does she have a medication or anything?"

"Yes, in fact, she does." She said, walking to a high cupboard that seemed hard to reach for her, but surprisingly, she got what she needed. Mrs. Everdeen pulled out a small white paper bag. It looked like it had been opened and closed several times. Inside the bag was a plunger, and a small plastic bottle containing a translucent cherry red liquid. Since Katniss was mildly sick, the medicine was able to be altered to taste sweet, and was given to her in very small amounts each day. Prim explained how the first time they gave the medication to Katniss, she reached for the medicine again, showing that she wanted more. And at night, they woke to the sound of clattering, and found Katniss looking through cupboards and shelves for the drug. That's why they kept the paper bag up on a high cupboard. Katniss was too weak and mentally disoriented at the moment to jump on the countertop and retrieve it.

I observed the medication with Katniss still glued to my chest. She saw the bottle and recognized it, her hands quickly taking it from my hands. Her fingers tightened around the cap, pulling and twisting with low effort. I knew she wouldn't be able to open it, anyways. All liquid drugs here have that strange cap where you need to push down on it, then twist. Katniss hits it softly with the heel of her hand and observes the bottle, passing it between her hands, and then it falls to the floor with a clunk. We put away before it breaks open.

That night, I took Katniss back to my compartment while Prim and Mrs. Everdeen were taking part in some sort of surgery. I got Katniss dressed into her nightgown. After seeing Prim braid her sister's hair the other day, I attempted a simple, trademark braid in Katniss's dark waves. She sat in my lap patiently as I passed the three strands of hair over each other. The mild aroma of shampoo wafted from her still- damp hair, and I pressed a kiss to the top of her lavender scented hair. She looked up at me, with those silver eyes ever questioning. I continue braiding her hair until I am satisfied with the appearance.

"I think you're beautiful," I whisper to her. "You're so perfect." Katniss turns to face me after I've tied the hair elastic. I plant a soft kiss between her eyes and scoop her up into my arms. She cuddles and wriggles, trying to get as close to me as possible. I set her down onto the bed and wrap her with blankets, the way she likes it nowadays, and tuck her in well. I sit down on the chair next to the bed, holding her hand as her eyelids seem to grow heavier and heavier. After a few minutes, Katniss closes her eyes and her hand goes limp in mine. I've noticed she stays highly alert, even as she sleeps, so I make sure to keep quiet every time she's dozing off. I brush back loose strands of hair away from her forehead, and continue until the silence is interrupted.

A beep comes from my cuminicuff on my wrist. Katniss wakes up instantly, her head pricking up and her eyes fixated on my wrist. A received a message from Boggs, telling me I had forgotten to return part of uniform from when we went to 2 and that I had to return it immediately. I realized he meant the jacket and boots. That was it. But I had to return it now, even if it meant leaving Katniss alone for a few minutes. It wouldn't take long. What's the worst she could do? Maybe just grow anxious being alone. But it'd only be a short period of time. She wouldn't go insane.

"Katniss," I tell her. "I have to go for a few minutes, okay?"

She watches me calmly from her bundle of blankets.

"I'll be back really soon. It'll be alright." Strangely, Katniss closed her tired eyes. Maybe she understood me. Maybe the real Katniss was coming back to me. I kiss her forehead, feeling joyful, because it must mean something good. "Stay put," I whisper. I turn down the lights so it's only the soft tawny glow from the night lights illuminating the compartment.

I collect my things and I leave, shutting the door tightly. The hallways are empty and quiet, except for light clanging sounds that sound naturally down here. I make my way down to the arsenal, find Boggs, and drop off my things. I make my way back to the hallway containing our compartment, going up the steps as fast but as quietly as I can. Still, it takes a while. Once I got to the second floor, I heard a vast amount of clamoring on the thick metal mesh floor.

Banging sounds, loud, like someone was dropping things. The closer I got to the first floor, the louder. Screaming suddenly was audible. I stopped in my tracks, listening, because the screaming…

It seemed familiar.

Desperate, terrorized screaming…

Screaming noting harm was being inflicted to the source.

Torture.

 _Torture._

Raspy, loud, eerie screeching and screams.

I only knew one person who screeched like that.

But why was I hearing this? She was probably starting to panic alone in the room, so I ran up to remaining steps that lead to our floor. Now I could hear it _clearly_. The screams' pitch wasn't being lowered down by walls. Katniss wasn't in the room. She was outside.

I saw a light, a flashlight, a man holding it. He was focusing on something, and he looked shocked. I ran towards him, with the screaming getting closer and closer.

There she was. On the floor.

Jerking, screaming, panicking, having flashbacks. I took action, shoved the man aside and scooped Katniss into my arms.

"Katniss! Katniss, shh, it's me! It's me. I'm not going to hurt you. Calm down, it's okay," I shouted at her first. Her trembling hands grabbed onto me. She panted and stared at me with wide, terrorized grey eyes. Her screaming quieted down when she recognized me.

The flashlight was still on us. I turned to face the man.

"What did you do to her?! Why is she out here?" I demanded. The man stammered and shook his head.

"I just found her out here. I tried to help her but she started… going crazy."  
"Don't you ever do that again, you understand?" I snapped. No one could touch her, except Prim and her mother and me, otherwise, this happened. The flashbacks were too much for her to handle.

"Don't touch her ever again." I murmur.

"I'm sorry. I didn't expect that to happen."  
I turn my attention to a shivering and moaning Katniss. Her skin was clammy. "What are you doing out here?" I asked her. "How did you get out?"  
"Maybe she came looking for you?" The man suggested.

"Is that what you were doing?" I asked Katniss softly. "Looking for me?"

Katniss's eyes flickered and then closed. She felt safe and relieved now. Safe enough to sleep.

Prim told me it took her and her mother about 20 minutes to get Katniss to sleep while I was gone. It didn't surprise me too much. With everything going on in her head, it's not too surprising.

I pick Katniss up, her body still jerking and twitching, and carry her back to the room. I find the door open. I wonder how this happened. How was she not afraid to wander out into the open? I sighed, entering the room, shutting the door behind us, and setting her back down on the bed. I crawl in with her, and I could literally feel her heart beating hard and fast against my chest while she kept whimpering.

"Shh. It's okay, sweetheart," I murmur to her. She falls asleep fast, but not before letting out a few coughs.

 **Sorry updating took so long! School is really kicking my ass...**


	10. Chapter 10

I hold Katniss in my lap, kissing her head. She kept her eyes closed when I kissed her on the mouth, her lips flat against her teeth. I was used to this now- her not kissing me back. At least she let me though. She was curled up in my arms, wearing her fleecy nightgown. I held her close to me, trying to remain optimistic. Because today, just today, I finally let the pessimist form of myself get to me. The fact that Katniss may never recover has me worried and in a serious state on the outside. She is the only person left that I loved. Yet, this form of her wasn't the Katniss I truly loved. I knew the real Katniss was lost somewhere, trying to fight her way back to all of us. To Prim. To their mother. To me.

"Where are you, Katniss?" I whisper softly against the crown of her head. "Where are you?"

I held her and she eventually fell asleep again. Katniss laid perfectly still in my arms, feeling calm and safe. But suddenly, she began to tremble. She woke up, her body jerking slightly. Her skin quickly got clammy, and her body wriggled in uneasiness. I raised her chin, and discomfort and anxiety written on her forehead. Her fingers scratched at the cloth on my jumpsuit and she nestled in closer to me. She whimpered and made strange swallowing sounds. Her breathing was shaky and her knees jabbed me slightly. I could tell she was trying to stay calm, but was struggling. Maybe she was having flashbacks. Strong ones. So, I just embraced her tighter and pressed her head closer to my chest. "Shh…"

The tension in Katniss's muscles disappeared, but she still trembled. And she laid in my arms like this for a few minutes. After about 5 minutes, she jerked awake, her chest moving up and down with rapid breaths. I looked down at her, seeing if she had a nightmare, but there were no tears. There was panic in her eyes indicating she wanted to leave, to escape. She rolled out of my arms, landing at my feet with a thud.

"Katniss!" I exclaim. I try to help her up but she starts crawling away, to the bathroom, her fingernails scraping at the hard floor. Katniss manages to stand up with her knees buckling, but she grabs onto the walls and then falls to the bathroom floor. I help her up, but she continues to wriggle away. I notice she was making a beeline to the toilet, and so I let go of her, and she crawls to it until her face is peeking into the toilet. Her body jerked and she spit into the toilet, and in a second, she was vomiting.

Her body arch as each wave of nausea passed through her. I hold her hair back and rub her back. She makes coughing and guttural noises, worrying me. "It's okay." I murmur. "You're going to be fine. It's just a little bug." I told her. After about 45 seconds, she seemed to be done, and she fell backwards onto me. I caught her, and she was panting and wheezing, her body drenched in sweat. She whimpered. "Ssh, it's okay. You're okay. It's over now. Shh…" Her head fell limp against my chest. I smoothed back her hair, and I grab toilet paper to wipe her mouth. Just as I am about to flush the toilet, I look into the toilet bowl to see dark, slimy puke. Abnormal. Black puke is not normal. I look at the stuff, disgusted, but anxious. Katniss was breathing too rapidly with short breaths. And in a matter of seconds, she went unconscious.

I managed to get a hold Prim in a few minutes. When she arrived, they both appeared shocked to see that Katniss had thrown up black vomit. We immediately took her to infirmary. This meant it was serious. I guess it was safe to say that Katniss was seriously ill now. When they got her down onto a hospital bed, her mouth was slightly opened, and a stream of blood came out. This sent me into panic. The doctors had to send us out as they inspected Katniss, which took about 2 hours. And when they came back, they came back with no news.

None.

They had no idea what was wrong with Katniss. The only thing they could tell us was that she wasn't breathing properly, so they gave her oxygen. Thankfully, the blood wasn't from the stomach like we suspected. Turns out that she bit her tongue. Katniss had cold symptoms, yes, but it was obvious that the cold itself was acting as a symptom of something greater. Black vomit was not normal. Mrs. Everdeen would be advised of this as soon as possible.

I buried my face in my hands.

"She'll be okay." Prim told me. "It's probably just from shock."  
"I hope your right," I replied, trying hard not to be hostile. Especially not with Prim. I found it difficult to contain anger when things like this happened. When Katniss was in trouble. It was almost impossible to stay calm.

"It's going to be okay, Peeta." She obviously could tell I was frustrated by the way I was shaking. "Calm down."

"I can't!" I snapped, making her jump. "I can't calm down! It's…. I'm…." I sighed and forced myself to calm down. I shook head and exhaled. "Everything is just too hard to handle now. With the… rebellion and everything."

"I understand." She said. "We should go see her." We stood up and entered Katniss's room.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." I muttered.

"It's okay. Like I said, I understand." She replied softly. I sat down around Katniss. She looked better than she did last month when she was in a coma. Prim sat down on the bed and placed her hand on Katniss's hand which was resting next to her. The oxygen tubes were taped to her face, her chest rising and descending slowly. A whimper came from her throat, and her head moved. Her eyelids opened and she wriggled slightly. She suddenly whipped her around to see who the people surrounding her were, but she managed to calm down after she recognized our faces. Katniss looked around the room and at the tubes in her arms, and a melancholy expression came onto her face. She probably acknowledged the fact that this room didn't symbolize good things. "It's going to be okay." I stroked her hair. Prim smiled and leaned forwards, wrapping her arms around Katniss's shoulders. She pressed her sister's head to the hollow of her neck. "We're going to take care of you, Katniss." She said sweetly.

I held one of Katniss's hands as her sister hugged her. She closed her eyes, enjoying her sister's warmth. When she let her go, I embraced Katniss. Katniss nuzzled a bit closer to me. Her head peeked up at me, and I looked back down at her. She raised her head so that our noses were touching, and she brushed her lips against mine. I opened my eyes to a grinning Prim watching us. Katniss's eyes were closed.

I kissed Katniss, and for the first time in weeks, I felt her kiss back.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to those who reviewed! Your feedback is appreciated**

 **There's only two weeks left until MJP2! Exciting, but sad at the same time because it means the series will officially be ending…**

I'm woken by the sound of rustling sheets. Katniss's room's lighting level has been lowered to the soft, comforting tawny light. I lift my head off the bed, looking up to see an already awake Katniss. She shifts uncomfortably in her bed. I can see the glint of sweat on her forehead, and I can tell all these quilts on her are too much. I distinctly remember seeing Ivy lay a fourth one over Katniss's body soon after she'd fallen asleep.

I stand up, still feeling wobbly from sleep, and help Katniss take a quilt off. She continues kicking her feet, indicating that she wants another quilt off. Eventually, I end up getting rid of all the quilts until there's only the thin hospital sheet covering her hips down. I press my cheek to her forehead and she nuzzles her face to my neck. It was early, about 6 AM. But I called in a nurse to bring her food anyways. In a few minutes arrives- unexpectedly- Prim, carrying a platter with toast and eggs, the typical breakfast here. On the side is a small bowl filled with different colored cut-up fruit. Cherries, apples, and pears. I'd never seen cherries served here before.

"They had luck this year and grew enough cherries to feed the district," Prim chimes. "I think she'll like them. Judging by the fact that her medications were flavored like cherries."

Katniss hesitantly ate her food. She would take tiny bites of the eggs, taking her time to chew and swallow. After about 45 minutes of coaxing the eggs into her, I moved onto fruit. I held the spoon in front of her lips but she refused to open them. "Come on, Katniss," I said, nudging her lips with the spoon. She kept her mouth shut and just looked down at the utensil with fruit mounted on it. After holding the spoon in the air idly for about a minute, Katniss parted her lips. She took the fruit into her mouth and a second later she spit it out of her mouth, and it fell back into the bowl. "Katniss," I sighed.

"Here. Let me." Prim said, reaching for the bowl. She took a spoonful of fruit and ate a few pieces of it, making sure Katniss watched.

"Prim, Katniss is sick with who knows—"

"It's okay. It was only a little bit." Katniss kept her eyes trained on the spoon and when Prim put it near her lips, Katniss obediently ate it.

"Oh," I say. "How did you know that'd work?"  
"We use the same strategy with little children in the hospital when they don't want to eat something. Same deal. The only difference is that she's not really a child."  
"Mentally, perhaps? In a way, I think she could."  
"Yeah. But she'll recover." We continued feeding Katniss as she took her small bites. Her body suddenly tensed up, and she started to gag. Prim and I exchanged glances. Immediately, Prim reached for the bowl on the metal table next to Katniss's bed. She replaced the food with the bowl and Katniss's trembling hands held on to the sides. When she threw up, her vomit was the same dark intimidating color, but with random lighter splotches from her breakfast. She seemed like she was done, but she wouldn't let go of the bowl. Her body was racked by harsh coughs, and it sounded like she was choking. Then there was one cough that startled Prim and I. Katniss let out a whooping cough and bright red splattered out of her mouth and into the bowl. I was almost went into a frenzy when the blood literally started to pour out of her mouth. Prim quickly reached for the button on the side of Katniss's bed that called the doctors. Katniss continued coughing and the doctors arrived. I was pushed Prim and I out of the way. They had forgotten again that Katniss went insane when strangers touched her. She began to panic and scream when the doctors reached for her.

"Don't touch her!" I yelled at them. "You're all going to make matters worse!" I pushed my way back to her and tried calmed her down. "Katniss, they need to examine you, okay? They're not going to hurt you, I promise. You're sick and they need to help you."

"Should we sedate her?" Suggested Prim.

I nodded. There wasn't anything better to do. It was our only choice. We did the old routine of Prim injecting a needle into Katniss's arm while I held her. But this time, Katniss gave Prim a stare of worry and betrayal.

I followed the medics down to the new examination room. Prim followed me. We arrived to a new wing in the hospital, and Prim stopped in her tracks. I turned around, but was still walking. "What's wrong?"

"Peeta, they're taking her towards the isolation area." She said, with wide, concerned eyes.

"Isolation?" I questioned, stopping.

"Yeah. It's where they put patients if they're severely sick with something really bad and contagious. They're taking her to the examination room where they'll decide if she needs to be isolated."

I felt anxiety beginning to bubble in my stomach. I couldn't let them do that. I needed to be there next to her. They weren't going to prevent me from getting to her. "But they don't even know what she has."

"It may be bad, though. Some sort of flu."

"Would they actually put her in isolation for the flu?" I asked.

"Depends what kind. It may be stomach flu, judging by her vomiting…" Prim's voice quieted down. "But… I'm not sure."

"It'll be okay." I said, doubting myself.

We waited outside. Mrs. Everdeen caught up to us, her face ashen and nails bitten raw. I didn't have any comforting words to tell them. I couldn't come up with good ones. The only ones I had I knew were ones that everyone over-said.

I could tell that she felt sorry for not being here last time. But I don't blame her. It was understandable. She wanted to be here, with her daughters, but her duty prevented most of it. I stared at the white tiled floor. It was hard to accept the fact that they had no clue what was wrong with Katniss. I wouldn't be too surprised if they came out of this examination with no news.

But this time, they did. Brief, but at least it was something. Like Prim has suspected, Katniss had stomach flu. The high levels of drugs in Katniss's blood caused her vomit to be darker in color. I relaxed a bit now. I wasn't going to have to be isolated from her. I just had to take caution, because if I got sick, I wouldn't be able to take care of her anymore.

…

They kept Katniss sedated for the rest of the day. For some reason, it didn't bother me. I read through my military tactics book while sitting next to Katniss's bed. There was a knock at the door. I looked up to see my mentor standing there.

"Hi." I greeted him. He gave me that smirk of his and allowed himself in.

"How's sweetheart doing'?" He asked, looking down at her.

"Sick with stomach flu."

"Stomach flu? She's being kept in a hospital for stomach flu?" He scoffed.

"Well you know how it is here. Viruses are taken really seriously."

"I can see that." He observes Katniss in her sleep. He hand reached out to pet her dark hair. I watched him with a blank expression.

"What are we going to do?" I asked him.

"Hm?"  
"About Katniss. They might send me to the Capitol soon. I don't want to leave her sick. Actually, I don't even like leaving her alone at all anymore." Haymitch nodded at my complaint. He obviously didn't know what to say. "I miss the real Katniss so much." I said.

"So do I. It's almost the same as it was when she was in the Capitol. She's not really here. She's… trying to get back to you."  
I wondered where she was. The real Katniss. The brave, stubborn girl whom I've loved all these years. Stuck inside the body of this hijacked and troubled girl who I didn't really know. Sometimes, it felt like I could feel her coming back. But then my hopes would disappear after seeing her panic when people approached her.

…

It was around midnight when I woke up. I had been sleeping uncomfortably sitting up on the chair across Katniss's bed. I dared myself to slide into bed with her. And so I did.

I was careful when moving her arms which had needles in them. I managed to lie down with her at my side. As I was falling asleep again, I swear I heard Katniss whisper my name in her sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

_"Peeta," Katniss murmured._

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"I… um…" She stammered. "I love you,"_

 _I felt a smile cross my lips. I pulled her body closer to mine and kissed her on the head. "I love you, too." I replied softly. She sighed and her fingers played with the hem of my shirt. We had been laying here on the bed for about 3 hours now, doing nothing but cuddling. I liked the feeling of her next to me. Her scent, her warmth… everything. We were in my bedroom of my house in the Victors Village. There was sunlight peeking in through the windows, and the breeze blew the beige curtains gently. I felt warm and happy._

 _"I don't think I can imagine life without you," She told me._

 _"Well I know for certain that I can't live without you, Katniss." She lifted her head off my chest to face me. She cupped my cheek and kissed my lips tenderly. It was a long, soft kiss that was not passionate, but calming and comforting. I took the arm that rested behind my head out to wrap it around Katniss so that both of my arms were enveloping her. Her hands were cupping my jaw now as she kissed me. I opened my eyes while kissing her, seeing her eyes were closed and being able to see the light freckles near her nose. I pulled away a bit too quickly and she looked at me with a confused look. I took her face in my hands, observing her features that were my favorites. Her moon colored eyes, her long, wavy dark hair and her sharp cheekbones. I stroked her perfect lips with my thumb and she pressed a kiss to the pad of my finger._

 _"I love you," she said again, barely a whisper. I could see the adoration in her eyes._

 _I let my hands go south, my fingers brushing along the hollow of her neck and touching her collarbones through her shirt. I continued feeling her. I was running my hands along her arms and she slowly sat up so that I could feel the rest of her. Her hips, her stomach, her abdomen. I got to her thighs, but I wasn't in the mood for doing anything intimate. Right now, what we had been doing, was entirely sweet and gentle. Instead of sliding my hands to the intimate areas, I grabbed her by the hips again and pulled her body onto mine, our bodies aligned with one another. Katniss pressed her forehead to mine and smiled amiably. I smiled back and kissed her because her dimples were making her irresistible._

 _"Will you stay with me?" She asked playfully._

 _I nodded._

But before I could answer, I woke up from the pitiful dream. It was nice at first. Not anymore.

I looked around at the grey compartment I was sleeping in. It was the opposite of my dream. Cold, and unhappy. No windows. No breeze.

No Katniss.

I was told to get proper sleep in my compartment by a doctor. I had to agree a bit, because sleeping with the sound of Katniss's heartbeat made it hard for me to relax.

I didn't feel like getting out of bed. But I made myself get out. I was only going to get more miserable if I laid there staring at the wall.

I went for breakfast and sat alone. The lonesomeness gave me time to think. I had to decide if I was going to finish off my mission as face of the rebellion right now or wait until Katniss got better. Because after what happened yesterday with her panicking around the doctors, I feared leaving her for more than a few ours. I don't want to leave her. Especially when I'd be a thousand miles away. I ate my bowl of hot grain which had raisins and berries in it, and I stared a hole into the bowl once I was finished. I was in a serious situation. Above anything, I wanted Katniss to be safe. I trusted her mother and her sister, because, how could I not? They're her family. But I knew they couldn't calm her down quickly enough. It would hazardous for Katniss's health if she didn't have me… as strange as it might sound. Then I realized going to war could mean my own death. And I knew Katniss's condition wouldn't improve without me.

That settled it. I was staying. I wasn't going to let them ship me off again. Especially not with Katniss sick.

…

After 5 hours of mandatory training, I got back to Katniss's room. She lied on her bed, still and alone. She was sleeping and the only noises were the whirring and beeping from the monitors. I kissed her forehead and sat on the bed next to her and take one of her cold hands in mine.

"I'm staying," I tell her. "I'm staying here with you."

She was so still. The only part of her that moved was the slow and steady rise of her chest. I stroked her hair and leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. My hand went still and I took a small nap.

I was woken by the sound of rapid beeping and whimpers. I opened my eyes to see Katniss convulsing on her bed, her eyes red and wide open in fear. Her mouth was gushing blood, staining her hospital gown and bedsheets a cherry red. She coughed, splattering the sides of her bed. She was panting and her whimpers and cries got louder and louder. Her heart monitor was beeping at an incredible rate. I got to my feet and held Katniss's hand, wiping the gushing blood from her mouth. I panicked, pressing the buttons that called nurses, my fingers fumbling with tissues and bed sheets that got splattered with blood. All I could do was watch her squirm and scream. She was screaming so loud and had gone into such hysteria that when the nurses arrived and started to tamper with needles and tubes on her arms, she didn't fight them.

She suddenly went still, her heart monitor's speed going down slightly. Her eyes were glued to the ceiling, the blood continuously pouring out of her mouth. Was I dreaming? I had no idea. This seemed so unrealistic. Katniss getting covered in her own blood that she was vomiting, pale as snow. Her stillness was broken when she started to shake and jerk madly. _Seizure._ That was the word that came to mind. I was forced out of the room because I too, was going mad. The sight of Katniss looking horrific was shocking me. I fell to the floor, watching Katniss's blood drip to the white tiled floor, and then I felt them jab a needle into my side. Whatever they injected into me caused sedation, not sleep. I was taken out, and they set me down in a hospital room and I felt them stick something into my arm. Katniss needed me. I wanted to go back. Instead I waited for something that felt like 3 hours and Haymitch arrived.

I was so disoriented. I wanted to hold Katniss in my arms. A healthy, un-hijacked Katniss. The Katniss that I really loved.

…

Katniss was moved to the ICU. This made her mother start to sob.

I felt empty inside.

I wasn't allowed to see her.

Only family members were allowed inside. I was angry at how they couldn't understand that Katniss was my family. She is the closest thing to a family to me after my parents and brothers died. I would stand at the glass doors, staring at the white door that held Katniss behind it. I told Prim not to tell me how Katniss looked. I didn't want to know.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey** **guys. I saw Mockingjay on the 20th and oh my god was it amazing! It was exactly like the book and can we just talk about hijacked Peeta for a second? Josh's acting incredible. Peeta's 'mutt' scenes were so sad and emotional…. But tbh the whole movie was emotional. The epilogue and Finnick's and Prim's death scenes and the Buttercup scene…. All great acting. The cast and crew did awesome with this final movie!**

Two days passed while Katniss was unconscious in the ICU. She was in a coma again, unresponsive. I couldn't sleep anymore. The worry of losing Katniss was finally settling in. So much for feeling optimistic.

I wanted to see her, gather her in my arms and hold her close to me. I wouldn't be allowed to do that for a while, though. Who knew how long it would take for her to come out of the ICU? What little sleep I had gotten was because I had cried myself to sleep. I wanted privacy. I stopped attending Command, and there would be repetitive knocks on the door, and soon voices, telling me to head to Special Weaponry or the Arsenal or something. I wouldn't respond when they called me. I ended up shutting myself out. Away from the public and private eye. I didn't want any comfort. I couldn't even bring myself to think of Katniss coming back. She had gone 2 levels lower in emergency. I didn't want anyone bugging me.

The other day, Finnick gave a length of his trusty old rope, and showed me how to tie a few knots with it. And I'll admit that it really helps keep you occupied when you're in a stressful situation like I'm in right now.

I had dreams of Katniss were she'd be sleeping in my arms in some peaceful place like the meadow near my home in 12. We would be safe and happy. I knew she was sleeping because I could hear her breathing. Her eyes opened, the sunlight enhancing the brightness of her grey eyes. I kissed each one of her eyelids, and her hand slipped behind my neck, pulling me closer for a kiss. She was wearing a red dress, the color looking beautiful on her tanned, olive skin. We kissed some more until we were interrupted by two kids I'd never seen before in real life, but in my dream, I knew they were products of Katniss and I. The girl, around 11, had her mother's hair and eyes and the boy who looked about 8, had my eyes and hair. We were happy, laughing, playing with each other, having fun. I wished I could have a life with Katniss like this. Safe and happy with 2 kids that we love unconditionally.

…

I left my room, that evening. Forced myself to. I wanted to see her. And I wasn't going to let anyone stop me.

So here I am, standing outside the ICU doors. No one is at the front desk. Wondered how long I would be able to be in there for until I was ratted out. I would just have to be quiet. I had observed what room Prim and her mother always went into, so I let the automatic doors slide open. I walked in discretely but quickly, ducking my head down while I still made sure I entered the correct room.

I opened the door, quickly closing it behind me, and focusing on the girl laying in the white hospital bed. An oxygen mask covered her face, and her eyes were closed. Her head was to the side slightly.

I released a breath, and approached her. I sat down in a chair, and took her cold hand in mine. She looked fine. The only thing that made her look unhealthy was the pale color of her skin. She probably lost blood through the vomit. I kissed her hand, listening to the beeping of the heart monitor. Her heartbeat was at a steady, calm rate. I felt a twinge in my stomach when I thought about Katniss's heart monitor going blank, so only one note played. I brushed the thought away. She was okay. I could see the red tube trailing from her arm to a large red bag hanging above my head. She was being given blood. I smiled slightly and kissed her forehead. I was scared of someone catching me. So I decided to enjoy this time while I had it. The people here are ridiculous. I still don't understand why they wouldn't let me in.

I laid down my head on the mattress, next to Katniss's body. My thumb stroked the top of her hand while I watched her. My eyelids where heavy with tears which had already fallen and sleep. So I let myself slip.

* * *

When I woke, first thing I noticed was I was still with Katniss. Same room. I looked up at her quickly.

She was sleeping in a different position, her head facing me. It was 5 AM. The dim light in the room hurt my eyes. I laid my head back down again, stroking the crown of her head. It was hard to see her face clearly with the mask covering her nose and mouth. I closed my eyes and held onto her hand. I was drifting into sleep quickly. My back hurt from being slouched over, but the deeper I fell asleep, the less pain I felt. I felt my body turn light weight and my muscles lose tension, letting Katniss's hand go.

"…Peeta..?"

I stirred slightly. I was ready to see what tonight's dream would be like.

But then it hit me that what I'd heard was real.

I lifted my head off the bed. I looked up and saw Katniss's sleepy and tired grey eyes looking back at me. I stroked her head and just glared at her in awe. Did she really just say my name?

"Yeah?" I whispered back, desperate for her to speak to me. Her lips parted slightly, and she mouthed my name. I held onto her hand with both of mine. With her free hand, she extended her fingers so that the tips could skim my face. I caught her other hand two, holding it to my lips.

"Hey." I said, my mouth open in awe.

"Peeta," She said in a voice that only means she's surprised. I nodded and I felt a smile spreading onto my face.

"Yeah. It's me. You're okay." I murmured. "You're safe. You're going to be okay."

"Where…" She struggled to form words. But I was patient. She was speaking with me. Katniss, who had been mute for weeks, was finally speaking again. I couldn't believe this. I kissed her forehead. "Are we?" She was panting slightly, and there was sweat on her forehead. Katniss had come back to me. She really came back. The only precious thing I had had finally come back to me.

"Thirteen. We're in Thirteen, Katniss. The stories are true! It's all true. It's safe here. You're in the hospital, but you're going to be okay. Prim and your mother are okay." I was speaking so fast. Probably too fast for her to even concentrate on. "There's so many things I want to tell you. I've missed you so much, you were gone from me. The Capitol did something to you. But now you're—"

Her fingers cover my lips. "Shh." She shushed me. "Slow down." There was not a hint of happiness or joy on her face. Just sorrow. There was an expression on her face which meant something was bothering her. But I knew she was okay. I smiled like an idiot, and slowly pulled the oxygen mask off of her face. I stood up and kissed her lips. She pulled back after she had kissed me. She held my face in her hands. "Oh, Peeta." She whispered between our lips. "If only you knew."

"About what?" I asked her.

She ran her thumb along my bottom lip.

"About what they did to me."

"They hijacked you."

She shook her head. "More than that. You wouldn't believe me."  
"I would." I reassured her. "I would believe you. There's no reason why I wouldn't. Tell me what they did to you."

Her eye lids were starting to droop. "They abused… me, and it… I…"

"What's wrong? Do you feel sick? Do you want me to call a doctor?"

"No." She snapped. "Please don't call them. Can I sleep?"  
"If that's what you want." I said to her. It was the same thing I said to her the night before the Quarter Quell. She seemed to have recognized it, because her answer was the same was last time.

"That's what I want."

"Tell me the rest after, okay? I'll help you cope with it."

She flashed me a tiny smile that literally only lasted a second. She went out like I light. I was confused over the way she was acting. But it was from her PTSD. I could tell. It had intensified for sure. But how is it that she doesn't remember when she was hijacked? At least, she doesn't seem to remember. But it was okay, I guess. We'd discuss it with the doctors and her family tomorrow. I'll admit I was super tired too. That why I wasn't forcing her to stay awake. We both needed our rest. I closed my eyes, but kept my hands linked with Katniss's. My thumb stroked her hand. "Just sleep." I whispered to her and myself.

I opened my eyes, and I saw Katniss fast asleep. The beeping noise in my ears echoed.

My eyes were heavy with sleep. I brushed hair away from her face. "I love you." I told her. I smiled at her sleeping self. A sigh came from her, and I felt her hand squeeze mine slowly. I closed my eyes and rested my head next to her on the bed, and slept through a night with meaning.

 _And you're sick all the time_

 _It's a constant battle with sunshine_

 _But I love the way you electrify._

 _There's something very damaged about you,_

 _But I've got a bad habit of never giving up._

* * *

 _I can feel the dawn peering in_

 _And I'm gonna lose you all over again._

The realization came quickly.

I had gotten stung by tracker jackers. I could feel their venom flowing through my veins like fire, burning every nerve and cell. My fingers twitched and I felt like I had fallen in a pit of shiny orange bubbles. The feeling of them on my skin soothed me. It wasn't enough to sooth everything, though. It didn't soothe me inside. My head hurt and I saw strange colors swerving in front of me. Magenta, cerulean and lime mixing and swirling, then washing away into darkness. I woke up. No… Actually, I didn't. I had not woken up from a nightmare...completely. I was still in one. One far worse than the one I had just been in. My throat was dry and I opened my tired eyes to see Prim and her mother. I had fallen asleep in their room. But they didn't seem to mind. Nothing mattered anymore. This rebellion didn't matter as much anymore, but it wasn't over.

Or maybe it was. Yes. It was. I wasn't going to do this anymore. I tried. But I realized I'm not as amazing a leader as Katniss once was, before the Capitol truly took her from me.

Let them kill 23 children annually. But not my loved ones. Actually, what does it matter?

"There's no one left that I love." Johanna would say.

Go to sleep, I told myself, Just please go to sleep. I relived the beginning of my nightmare when I went to sleep again. The still sound, a continuous note coming from a monitor. I opened my eyes to see blood everywhere. On the sheets and on my hand. The blood didn't belong to me.

Screaming and more screaming. I felt light headed. I heard footsteps. I felt hands on my arms. I wriggled and writhed like Katniss used to. I screamed at them. I screamed at everyone. My body felt like it was floating on nothing. After, there was concern over the whole district. People thought the disease Katniss had contracted had spread over all of us. Except it hadn't. I sort of wished it had, though. Because I'd be dead like my family.

But congratulations. Congratulations, I thought. This was Snow's plan all along. And he did excellent. He really managed to do what the Gamemakers couldn't. They achieved two things tonight… things I believed would never happen. They broke me. They really did. And they killed off what mattered most to me.

There was no way to fix this. The damage had been done.

I still found it all too hard to accept. When I realized what had happened, I felt everything go numb. My heart skipped a beat and I started to tremble.

This nightmare I was currently in would never end. I never thought I'd live in one. But here I am. Alone. With no family, no home. And no lover.

I could still hear the monitor's constant beeping, which wasn't much of a 'beeping' then. It was just a still, loud sound, with only one note that only had one meaning that everyone in this dystopia could understand.

There wasn't a heartbeat on that monitor anymore. It was gone. Gone into oblivion. And I would never be able to hear it again.

 _Never._

 **The End.**

* * *

 **I hope that the ending wasn't too hard to understand. There won't be a continuation of this, but thank you so much for reading. And hopefully Peeta wasn't too out of character.**


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